I find myself at yet again another crossroads in my life (yes, I know, no surprise there).  And like always the process is escrutiating and mind-bogoling.    Because of my lack of direction and assertiveness I find myself at (wait for it) another Starbucks in Penn Station at 2:40am. 

more to develop...

Bluffing

Just out of pure curiosity, what woman pays actual attention to men when they are called to attention by less than original ways such as: "Ay, mami", "Mwuah, mwuah (a kissing sound)", "Hey, what's your name", "Que guapa", etc., etc., etc.?

Do these call of the wild really help men to get some or is it a desperate attempt to feeling a bit more like a man and less like a loser?  Yeah, I totally understand that logic.  Since one feels insecure to begin with, might as well objectify any female passerby in order to inspire a sense of authority and machismo. 

Today, I decided to conduct an experiment for my benefit only.  If the first party tried to call the second party's attention (a.k.a. me), then I would respond in a uncommon way and wait for their reaction. 


Example:

Man:  "Ay, Mamita, what I wouldn't do to you now?!?!?"


Me: "Okay, come on big boy let's go!"


I called him bluff. Man is surprised and does not know really how to answer to such a response.  He timidly turns around and walks away.  

Out of all the times this occurred today, only one man took me up on my offer.  However, because of moral, commitment and hygiene, I kindly declined his invitation.  






 

Real(ly,) News?

As I finished packing my bag this morning, and grabbed some Pop Tarts, which subsequently became a paste-like substance in my purse, I fought the urge to go back to bed.  In the meantime the background noise was infiltrated by the 'news stories' produced by Good Morning America.  

Apparently, it has become news worthy to report what a power-house female politician's choice of outfit will be.  This has escaladed far beyond the point of admiring such political/fashion icons such as Jackie O' and Nancy Reagan. 

It has become headline-news!

This morning's news reported a 30-second segment on the country's extreme stand on universal health care; however, an exposee on newly appointed Justice Sotomayor's choice of judicial robes lasted about 4 minutes.  Details went back to Justice Sandra Day O'Connor and her quest on finding the perfect robe in London and a more-than perfect collar from Paris's Champs Elysees.
 

Don't misunderstand me.  I love and appreciate the art that fashion is.  However, I have yet to discover why a story like "Ms. Obama vs. Ms. Bruni-Sarkozy"  is reported more frequently than other stories such as: our complications with North Korea, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, or  the Kyoto Treaty or the over-population and poverty.  No, we have become so desensitized and egocentric as a nation, that We The People prefer to Twitter, Facebook or Blog (Yes, I am guilty of that as well) our disappointments than step outside the gates of Washington like generations past, and exercise our rights  in freedom of speech and freedom to assembly.

We have become the Silent Cyber Generation who can text 50 words per minute to their B.F.F.s, but who cannot take 5 minutes to call their state representative and express their concern. 

Between 8th Ave and Limbo

With every passing day I find myself losing hope in the city that never sleeps. I have been scammed. The CITY that I once fantasized chewed me up and spat me out like used gum.

Hope is quickly running out and my bank account is close to running on empty. I have resorted to making a Starbucks between 8th and 7th my home office although I have only bought one "Dirty Chai" for $4.29. Sephora has become my new place for touch-ups before interviews (a girl can't go wrong with free make-up samples), and the steps in front of the Post Office have become my permanent hang-out. I guess the only positive aspect of this whole situation has been losing weight, since I don't eat lunch.

I haven't even found a job and all the hustle and bustle of the city, plus the one and a half hour commute each way is starting to deteriorate all the good vibes I had accumulated back in Europe. Everyone has somewhere to go, somewhere to be. Women in high-heels and their Chanel bags viciously push me aside while at the same time I run into standing tourists who stop in the middle of the sidewalk to appreciate the Chrysler Building and ask me about which is the correct way to Times Square. *sigh* To be a tourist and not have to worry about the stress back at the Starbucks office! Ignorance is bliss...

I sit at my corner office (literally in a corner that blocks the cash register's view) and scroll through pages of unattainable jobs, all at the same time trying to avoid the Manager who definitely knows who I am by this point. The cheapskate who doesn't order anything, ever, and who only sits at the same table on the same chair facing the same way and uses the free-access internet. I fear that next week there will be a picture of me with a striked circle on the window forbidding my entrance to the establishment.

But alas, I will pretend to drink my steaming Venti Caramel Macchiato and read through the posts on Craigslist in the hopes of finding something.

Till then, like Dori says, "Just keep swimming."