Slowly becoming an A-dult!!!

So, I am leaving early tomorrow morning to go to New York City for a JOB INTERVIEW!!! It's my first one ever, well apart from my job interviews for the jobs on campus that I have had, this is the first professional setting that I will be in. It's kind of scary (and crazy), especially because I won't have anybody there with me. I will be in NYC all alone for the first time ever. I don't know if I will be able to handle all the psychological trauma. But there is one consolation, I am going to ChinaTown and buy myself a purse!!! Diana told me to be careful and not to get shot! Ha! I gave her a scare last time we went to the city.
Well, if I don't get that job in NYC or anything, I was offerred a full-time position at my office after graduation, which in a way it kind of rocks. Finally, after four years of working for them and going through hell, it will all pay off. But I am really counting on something outside of Rochester. I think I need the change.
I will keep y'all posted on the interview's results.

The Arrows of Fate Will Always Hit Their Prey

I wish I could hold that to be true, but as of now, I see no Arrows coming towards my direction. Doubt and confussion are predators who feed upon me without remorse. I am trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but with each passing day its darkness seems to accumulate in my thoughts, and what's even worse, in my heart. Yet, at times I feel like a walking contradiction cheering myself on, but singing elegies when the sun goes down.


Things at school are going... let's just leave at "going". Like always, it is the same bull crap over and over. I think I might be getting a little bit too old (or should I dare say, posh) for this. After Friday night while sipping on my fifth Peppermint shots from a loodge and wiping the excess off my chin, I realized that I had finally hit rock bottom. Had I really become one of those drunkard girls who hangs tightly to her friends' arms not just because a sudden lost of balance, but because she is seriously afraid to 'stand on her own two feet'? I have had enough of it. And with my swaggering walk, I fastened my coat and walked into the freezing night to go home.
The following night was swollen with invitations by friends and acquaintances to go out and expose myself into that meaningless strata once again. But I found a better consolation staying at home in my favorite green comfy pants and U of R sweatshirt and watching a movie with my real friends. Attending time and life-consuming frat parties and social gatherings for the past three years, has drained me. I am overwhelmed and tired of the sick and pretentious words that I must listen and that I must say. I hate putting on those nice shirts with slightly tight jeans and high heels in order to impress people that I am probably going to see once or that are possibly trying to 'get in my pants'. I don't want to impress people like them. If I do wear those jeans or that litte extra something underneath my dress, it's for that certain special someone and not so I can have that little extra self-confidence I need whenever I meet someone new. I am condeming myself to life time of sweatpants and loose t-shirts. I promise I will not be rolling out of bed, putting on shoes, and going to class like a hobo. But I do pledge to wear that little something special for only my VIP. ;)

The Late Winter Snow in Rochester

The Snow has finally come...

Endlich....

I know, I know, believe me, I know ...

it has been well over a month that I have written anything substantial or worth-while.

But my life right now is so hectic that I barely have time to breathe. It's funny; a couple of weeks ago I was bumming around on my parents't couch, not doing anything, and definately not having a care in the world. But now, being back in Rochester my life has done a complete 1-80. I have 5 classes, two jobs, and a ton of responsibilities with the organizations that I am involved in. Additionally, it is my last semester and I constantly have to work on resumes, job interviews, planning the rest of my life and so on and so forth.
In these past two weeks I have already had a complete breakdown, 3 migranes, lack of sleep, and a slight resurrection of my lovely eczema. Yay! But like someone told me, I have to keep looking forward, although it is difficult to do so at times.
I wish I had more to say. Yes, I am a boring person, but that's because my schedule controls my life and I don't control my schedule. That's the one thing I should put on top of my to-do list... 1.) give myself some ME time and I don't mean time to look for jobs, or send out those little e-mails, or something of that sorts; just time for me.
In light of the present situation, I have found myself to think about my future home in the coming months. There is so much to choose from and yet, I feel that I don't have the means/opportunities to get there. I actually thought about going to study in Egypt. I would study Arabic and Islamic culture/society/history. How I came up with this, I have not clue. Or maybe India. I think I got from watching Mohinder in a little show (that I love to watch) called 'Heroes'. Or maybe Germany or New York or California or.... I want to get there, doesn't matter how, I just hope soon.




I am running, I am running. Catch up with me Life!

POST COMING SOON....


I promise

Bring on the year of 2007

From my family to yours...

Happy New Year

My Anniversary

Yesterday, I celebrated my 2nd anniversary of being 21. I refuse to do any more counting....hehehe. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. It was just a peaceful and tranquil day. I left the campus in order to be at peace with my thoughts. The one highlight of my day was that in the evening I went to Nick's house in Mt. Morris to see his younger sister perform. She sings lovely.

Maybe I will celebrate when I go home...

...which will happen tomorrow

Photo Proeject

I took the following images for my photo project for my Fairytales, Myths, and Legends German Class. I looked upon Walt Disney and his ideas of fairytales for inspiration, however, my photos are a satirical response to his American ideals of fairytales. The collection is called Qualifications for Becoming a Princess. I would like to thank Anna Fagan and Ryn Stilwell for modeling and putting up with my crazy ideas. I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to leave any reactions, comments, and/or feelings about the photographs. Thank you.

Trapped

Desperation

Caught

Ashamed

Painful Beauty


Playing Dress-Up

The Discovery

The Denial

The Acceptance

I've been waiting for a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all

I'm so much closer than
I have ever known...
Wake up

Dawning of a new era
Calling...don't let it catch you falling
Ready or not at all
So close enough to taste it
Almost...I can embrace this
Feeling....on the tip of my tongue

Cafe Drama

First band of the night. We had some coffee, irish cream, Bailey's, some music, and an awesome time.


Check them out.

Second Band.

Coffee and some milk.

Dan Price

Amo's Band Walri playing at the Drama Cafe.


Rocking Away.

Another, event of the night. Some jerk broke into Sean's cabinet and stold his protein powder.

That was all they took. Sean was getting ready to kick some ass. But...

His jeans ended up ripping. Check out the hole. That's his actual hand down his pants and out through the hole in his crotch. Maybe he would get lucky with some lady.


Then again, maybe not. His pants completely tore after doing a squat. So much for 'the end' of Sean's night.

A song is two bodies rubbing underneath the covers to keep warm.

U of R: Raping You in the Ass Just How You Like It

So, after busting my ass for the past two weeks working on an application to go to Cologne next year, I was barely told today that I might not be able to qualify for this amazing opportunity because I am a senior and not a junior. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!??!? Why don't they let you know this from the beginning.
They said, "If it comes down to choosing a junior or you, and you have the better qualifications, we would still choose a junior because they will be returning to the school and will be able to share their experiences with us."

Well, FUCK that!!! I have "shared" so much of myself to this fucking institution and when I want something back from them, they have to screw me in the ass just for shits and giggles. I don't want to sound like a complete snob or rude, but I actually think that I deserve this. I have been working my butt off, and I have way more qualifications than some of these juniors. UGH!!! They better have one hell of reason for them to reject me.

It's not fair. It's ridiculous. But at least I was told by the director...

"You should still apply. You never know what will happen."


Yeah, thanks for the f***ing hope.

Remember the 6th?

Thought that I was going crazy
Just having one of those days
Didn't know what to do
Then there was you

And everything went from wrong to right
And the stars came out and filled up the sky
The music you were playing really blew my mind
It was love at first sight

'Cause baby when I heard you
For the first time I knew
We were meant to be as one

Was tired of running out of luck
Thinking 'bout giving up
Didn't know what to do
Then there was you

"Love at First Sight"
-Kylie Minogue


Happy Nikolaus!!!
Ich liebe Dich...
immer

Yesterday was sooooo Much Fun

Continuing with the Senior festivities for this year, Nick, Jennie, and I went on a Wine Tasting at Casa Larga Vineyard. The bus was about 45 minutes late and we were getting piss off, but as we were about to leave the bus arrived, and we were happy that we were going to get intoxicated on early Saturday afternoon. The wines were all sooo good. But being poor college students, the three of us chipped in to buy one bottle of Riesling. It was AMAZING!
When we came back to campus we decided to have a nice past dinner with Alfredo sauce and portobello mushrooms. It tasted sooo good. And Nick baked some amazing Chocolate Chip Cookies which were consumed way too fast after the pasta.
After dinner I headed up to my room and got ready for the last show of the One-Acts. I had so much performing and everybody loved the show. (But still I feel ackward about it. I told my friends and family about it, and nobody called or sent an wishing me luck or anything of that sort. I know it's stupid, but I just wish sometimes that I weren't so invisible to everybody. At times I feel like I am sitting on a lonely bench watching the whole pass by, and nobody stops to say hello. I hate being alone here.)
Following the show, Mitch, Sean, Jason, Chris, Peter, Ben, Nick and I went to watch Snakes on a Plane with Sammy J. (Samuel L. Jackson). But in order to tolerate this movie, we had to be completely belligerently drunk. Hahahaha, the reprecussions of my drinking were felt more today during the Lego Tournament I had to work on. Let's just say those were the longest 4 hours of my life. After the movie, our favorite uncle, Uncle Dickie's, was parked outside the frat quad and it was only natural for us to get some awesome grub. We proceeded to the house were we watched another movie, but writing about it and thinking about it again is a little bit too weird for me... So I'll let you make up your own mind about what I watched. lol ;)

Where the F*** was the bus for the last hour??? Parked by the Chapel....
Nick and I are annoyed.

But Jennie, Nick and I decided that being grumpy gives you more wrinkles.
So, we decided to look pretty and smile for the camera.

Gaby is happy now because she got her bottle of wine.

Nick is sad because I didn't let him open the bottle on the bus.

So, this picture is very ridiculous and for some strange reason I look very confused.
Maybe it was because I was Carmen Dick: Feminist Private Eye.
The show ROCKED!!! Thanks Phil 1, Phil 2, and Ted.

BTW, I hate red lipstick with a passion!!!

CasiNO Royale

I watched the new James Bond movie last night in my room with my friend Sean. All I have to say is thank goodness I did not pay $9 to watch it. I must say that the opening was great. The 'city walker' was amazing. He was literally jumping from building to building. There were inexplicable bursts of fire and guns, lots of guns....you know, your typical, but highly awesome, Bond movie.
BUT THEN, I had to wonder how much money did Ford have to pay to get there 1-minute commercial in the movie. Also, Botox must be making a whole lot of money right now. Botox, it's not just for women any more. Everytime the camera made a close up on Daniel Craig's face, I could not help but laught at the ridiculous poses and pouting of his lips he would make. It was ridiculous. Oh, and another thing.... Daniel Craig your buff, we get it. You don't have to take off your shirt or your clothes every other scene to demonstrate that you have a six-pack, arms like guns, and an ass that we all wish we had. It's like he is exploiting himself so we can pay more attention to his body and forget his bad acting.
Oh, and let's not forget how James Bond gets sissyfied towards the later half of the movie!!! I have barely come to terms with James Bond movies treating women like disposable objects, but that's the essence of a James Bond movie. And now, they throw a freaking love story in order to appeal the female audience. "Oh, I love you and I am going to leave the secret service to spend the rest of my life going around the world in my sail boat and making sweet love to you each day!" And, then poor little James Bond must redeem himself at the end by saying, "The Bitch is gone." Uh-huh, yeah right.
All I have to say is that the first half of the movie was good. The second half (or extra three million years the movie producers added) was terrible. But, I am a very cynical person who likes to go against the status quo, and maybe my opinion about Casion Royale is complete bogus. Just watch it and make up your own mind.



The only exceptional thing was Chris Cornell from Audioslave singing the opening credits,
You Know My Name.

If you take a life do you know what you'll give?
Odds are, you won't like what it is
When the storm arrives, would you be seen with me?
By the merciless eyes of deceit?

I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line

It's December...

And December 1st is World's AIDS Day


The best way to prevent the continuing spread of the HIV virus is to be aware. Get tested. Just ask your doctor for a free HIV test. There's no shame; the only shame is not knowing.


It's time to fight back.