Thursday, February 24, 2005


Check me out with my crazy costume and make-up for "Major Barbara"!!!

Something Major

So tonight is the big night...
Major Barbara is opening. Finally, all the work, hours spent in the theater, and the strenuous Kabuki will pay off. I wish I had a little bit more of energy so I could really be happy about it. Don't get me wrong I am ecstatic, but my first reaction when people were saying, "Opening night is tomorrow!" my thoughts were Wow! I am almost going home to take a rest! I mean how f***ed up is that? I should be jumping around and shouting at the top of my lungs, but lately I have been so tired with eveything and everyone. I am just irritated for some reason and I can't put my finger on it. I want to rest. I need to rest before I end up having to rest on a hospital bed.
However, I do want to say that I am so proud of the entire cast and crew for Major Barbara. We all put ourselves and Todd Theater on the line with this prodution, but I think we have a kick-ass show. Everyone is rocking out with their costumes, make up, and Kabuki. I can't believe that five weeks have slipped through our hands and now we are hear about to embark on the last leg of this crazy journey. You have surprised me! (and I have even surprised myself) Break a leg!!! p.s. We must get those massages.








I am ready to fly...

Monday, February 21, 2005

Just a Thought

Change around the words that you say, to suit me fine.
Predictable behavior
I crave ya
I'm driving y'all
My own is living save
Sometimes I hate ya
But I'm whipped
Being gone ? head down to the crypt
Restricted like a conscript
You loved to bully
I placed the blame with you
Fully...
Change around the words that you say, to suit me fine.
Make them mine...
Don't panic
There is only we too left on the planet I can explain..
I know it happened again,
It's manic
I'm standing in the flame, trying to fan it
You don't know what you've got till it's gone
And by the edge of the night,
you nobody belong thru this ad joint.
And that's what you cut.
Listen to the voice of your head, It makes no sense, Take a rest
I'm addicted..
I have a demon for a wife
He delights in your pretty face and he hates my life
Takes notes on how to provoke past grief
Makes my teeth decay with the last of my self believe
Feed all day from underneath
Like a fief,
I left weak, barely able to speak
I seek nothing but constant supply
I can read every look in your eyes
I leave with a lie
Maybe our love will never die
Or, maybe it's the last time I make you cry
Make my appeal like the condemned.
Let's go away for the weekend
Your life I will steal and descend with it

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Killing Some Time

It's killer Thursday today!!! I am just taking a quick rest from the mayhem of today. I have class all day till about 7 tonight. All I gotta say is that thank goodness I do not have rehearsal tonight or then I would surely die and come back to life again and die once more just for grins. (*Side note* whoever is reading this and is in the Rochester, NY area should definately come and watch Major Barbara opening next Thursday at Todd Theater on River Campus. Tickets are $6 and youcan flex them or reserve them at the theater's website....aka this is what I have been rehearsing ever since we got back from winter break).

I can't help but laugh at myself sometimes. On Monday I was devastated and bitter about Valentine's Day. Today, I don't even care. Nothing extraordinary has happened since that time, but I just think I got over my melodramatic self and realized how insane I truly am. Anyone who doesn't know me that well may think that I have my head on my shoulders and can deal with anything, but most of the time I am caught up in some cloud day-dreaming and thinking about things that in some way or shape complicate my insignificant ordinary life. However, I do like to think that at times I am in my very own soap opera. So, every time I see this particular cute guy the soundtrack begins playing "I can't get enough of you baby," and everything slows down for a couple of seconds until I am left standing there like a fool with huge smile on my face. Oh what it is to dream!!! =) hehehe

I have had this song in my head for about three days, and I don't get tired of it. I think it is because it brings so many funny memories and fun times to my mind.
…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…
Yeah!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Chinese Food is the Devil

I hate "Number One Chinese Food" place. I have a tummy ache, and I am not ashamed to admit that I want my mommy.

Once again I have spent another Valentine's Day by myself. No surprise in that. I hate the bullshit that all your friends (who are in somewhat of a relationship) try to console and tell you. Things such as: guys can't see what's in front of them, that I am too good for them, that none of them deserve me, that I am pretty but they can't see that. Why give the whole bullshit speech? Just fucking say, "He is not that into you," or in my case "Men are just not that into you." Maybe after being told that by somebody I will finally give up and spend my life in a convent praying the rosary till I die of old age. Last night when I was falling asleep I was thinking about how maybe I have lost my chance to find that right guy. Maybe Renke (my ex) was the best that I was ever going to have, and I let him go. But, I just don't think that is possible. He couldn't of been "the one" for me. I know I deserve more, or maybe I have way too antic and high expectations for guys, and thus, I am over looking the low, mediocre, anal rententive creeps all around me. I mean really there are plenty of creeps in the see; I mean fish. However, there is always something I can count on..... my wonderful friends back at home. They understand. And, there is nothing better than receiving a call or a text from them in order to feel the warmth all the way from the deep South Texas.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone.
Happy Single-Lonely-You're Such A Loser- Day to Me.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Bad Name and Bad Education

So what the fuck?!?!?!?!? You think that after knowing somebody for like a year they could at least learn how to spell your fucking name!!! It's Gaby. Not GaBBy, or Gabi, or Gaebe, or any of that shit. I am sorry, it's just something that I would like to take off my chest. I am looking through my friend's web pictures and right there in big huge letters it said, "Gabby and Me." What the fuzzy??? I hate you man; I really do. First, you are annoying. Second, you are an attention whore. Third, you try to please people in whatever they say just so they can like you. Fourth, in the process of pleasing these people you are completely irritating, loud, and make stupid remarks. Fifth, you might think you are funny, but I got news for you Dr. Klondike, you're not!!!! Sixth, you miss three days of rehearsal even though you were here, on campus, having dinner for the third one. And finally, I hate how I don't hate you, not even one bit, not even at all. So, just get over yourself and I'll get over myself and let's be friends again before I decided to rip your head off again. (sigh) hehehe You know it's all play!!!

Thank goodness that that is over now. On another note, I just got back from The Little with Shannon and her boyfriend Avery (they're so cute!). We went to go see La Mala Educacion (Bad Education) starring (my future husband) Gael Garcia Bernal and directed by Pedro Almodovar who is a phenomenal director. I thought the film was great and Bernal did a fantastic job with the role. Every time I watch him in a new film I am blown away from his performance. I only wish that one day I could rock the silver screen and the stage just like he does. It is my ultimate dream!!! We'll see one day. But, if you have the chance to go see this movie, I recommend it deeply. It must be one of the top films I have seen this year. I can't compare it to Closer, The Aviator, I Huckabees, and Finding Neverland, because the story is so out there that it is filled with twist and turns that kept me on my feet throughout the entirety of the film. GO WATCH IT!!!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Set Gibberish

"I am in love with a lion tamer from Kabul....."

Well, not exactly, but I do find myself flirting with our set designer for Major Barbara. This is bad. *Disclaimer: the set designer flirts back, and he is only about 28. So, don't think that he is an old man of about 54!!!* His name is Justin and he is really cool. He came back to Rochester last night because he had to be at the opening of his other show (Off Broadway, if I may add). Those cute nerdy-kick-ass-gallant glasses are the best and he wears Rocketdogs which I give him major props for (having asswesome shoes are a perk). Note, I am not going to try anything because that would be so unprofessional on my part and it just isn't right. =) But I can look!!! hehehehe

Well, right now I have about a 2 hour break from rehearsal so I decided to post a blog (cuz I have nothing better to do, such is life). But really, I want to thank everyone who is out there reading these things and caring. Don't worry about me. After some shock therapy the twitching should go away. I am just anxiously waiting for the day that I go home. Unfortunately, I am leaving on my friend Patty's 21st B-day, but we will definately have to go out and celebrate when I get back. Being 21 isn't that much fun if you don't have friends around you to share it with. Oh well. I shall soon return. **Don't get discouraged Tipsey-Tracey you only have about 4 more months**

Hmmmm, I think it is time for a nap. Sounds like a plan Stan. 1,2,3 Sleep!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005


Album ahoy!!! We have a new album coming out March 22 and we have a new single out now called "You & Me". This makes me very happy =)

Totally Radical Awesome Mädchen!!!

I know that there are certain times in my life when I only concentrate on the nearest things or people. I tend to miss the bigger picture. The picture that includes everyone in my life. And I know sometimes the things that I put down on this blog exclude some people. I apologize.

My Dearest Friend,
Yeah, you know who you are. I know at times we don't agree with the same things or have much in common. But those differences are the ones that keep me connected to you. I am intrigued and would love to learn more about you. You and I are like salt and pepper. They're different spices, but both make food taste a whole lot better, and when they are together they are delicious. Okay, so that is a really bad anology, but I think you know what I mean. I don't think there has never been a time where you have not been there for me. In whatever situation I am in or however I feel you are there by my side even if it not physically for the most part. For the past years you have been one of the closest people to me. However, I forget to tell you how much I appreciate and treasure your friendship. I love you, girl!!! And we both love Jason Wade. *1,2,3, sigh* hehehe I hope to see you soon back at home so we can go to the beach and get a tan....I swear I am pale with the winter up here. Take Care.
Love Always,
G-jo

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

It Continues to Look Cloudy

I want to fall into the wind and let a cloud catch me .....

So, I don't think I am suffering from depression because I know there is something completely off balance within me. However, I cannot pin-point my illness (and that's if I even have one). It might all be a mind game. You know what, it is. Everything that is preplexing me is in my head, and thus, I am portraying it externally to the world and to myself. I look into the mirror and I don't recognize the reflection. I have broken the connection between me and my soul. I don't know if I might be ready to move on to another place, or if I have to meet new people. Maybe I have to stop being so caught in this High School bull shit environment and open my eyes to the life that is living in front of me. However, I do know that there are two very important factors missing in my life right now. I need a dosage of my crazy yet loving family and some very much deserved time with my Filipino (You know who you are!!!! We need to hang out pronto!!!) . I think going home for spring break will be a very good to me, like medicine. I just hope I get enough of home to help get through the end of the semester.

On a side note I want to amputate my right leg because the pain is horrible. About two weeks I rolled/sprained my ankle. The pain hasn't gone away. I am starting to get a bit worried, but I don't want to go to the university's clinic because I am afraid of what they might say. I don't want to wear a cast, be on crutches, or be off my foot; opening night for Major Barbara is in about two weeks and I need to be able to move around without a problem, especially if we are doing it Kabuki Style. Oh well!!!

Send me the love
I really need it
Pray for me
I will hear it
Send me peace
And I'll take it like a kiss

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Last Night's Recap

What the F***? I can't believe it is already February 6!!! Where has the time gone by? It felt like Mouthful of Birds was ages ago, and May seems closer to ever. Whoa!!! My sister will soon be graduating high school, my brother will be going to high school, my baby sister is going to jr. high, and I am almost half way done with my college career. It's INSANE!!!!!!! I realized all this last night when I was backing to the D-House with my friend Nick and we were talking about how fast time has passed by.
I had a really fun time last night. I was coming back form rehearsal and as I was walking up the stairs Nick was coming down and he asked me to go to Walmart with him. As we were walking to Park Lot, Nick decides to clap to this tree and in a millisecond a million birds fly out from that tree. I almost peed in my pants. It seemed like something right out of a Hitchcock movie. I was going to be attacked...hehehe. So we went to Walmart, got some yarn, and then dived ourselves into this massive pile of old school movies and see if we could find Teen Witch. I know, it's not the best, but it is a classic. So, Top That! =) We weren't ready to head back to campus yet. Instead, we decided to head straight for the dollar cinema and watch Shark's Tale. It was funny, but not as great and original as Finding Nemo. I think it was a film directed more towards the American audience than the international; there were too many American-pop-culture references. But other than that we stuffed our faces with popcorn and cherry coke. We came back to campus to make rice krispies treats because we had been planning for ages. And when tried to offer some of our snacks to the Nerd Fest going on upstairs we got rejected (the Nerd Fest is too long to explain, I'll just say big screen, all 10 Star Trek, you do the math!). So we came upstairs and had are own little party with Kelly and sang to ridiculous songs like "Like a Prayer," "Paradise City," and "It's Raining Men". Oh, and us being dorks.
My friend Sandra was having a party at her place, but I wasn't in the mood to get all dressed up, walk a million miles, and be disappointed with the male population of that soiree. I haven't been in a party mood recently. I prefer to be in pj pants and just hang out here at the house. No expectations, no pretentions, just plain fun. So I apologize to my Sandrizzle because I promised I was going to go but it didn't happen. I'll make it up to you meine kleine Schatze. =)

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Too Tired to Explain


This is how I feel... Posted by Hello
The thing is that I have not been myself ever since I got back from break, and I mean summer break. I feel lifeless and unmotivated. I am like 1,000 piece jig-saw puzzle, but suddenly realize that I am 999 and missing a piece. Where has that piece gone to? OR does that piece have to come to me? When will I get my pEAce? I am ready to leave this place and not look to what I have left behind me. It feels as if I am stuck once again in the 90210 but with worse actors than the previous one. All of the shit and all of the drama has worn me down to the bone where I have become disintegrated. That feeling in the soul is gone and the shine from my eyes has reached its sunset. I wish to move but I remain stuck in this isle of disillusion, of lost hope, of lost faith, of lost souls. My monster follows me as if it were my shadow. I try to run away but it comes back to me ten times stronger than when it left. She is there; watching me, spying me, taking over me. Evil can only be a woman, because she can both be tempting and vengeful. She lurks around in the shadows waiting for my fall. And when I fall it will my long awaited death. Maybe there will I get a rest.