I want to fall into the wind and let a cloud catch me .....
So, I don't think I am suffering from depression because I know there is something completely off balance within me. However, I cannot pin-point my illness (and that's if I even have one). It might all be a mind game. You know what, it is. Everything that is preplexing me is in my head, and thus, I am portraying it externally to the world and to myself. I look into the mirror and I don't recognize the reflection. I have broken the connection between me and my soul. I don't know if I might be ready to move on to another place, or if I have to meet new people. Maybe I have to stop being so caught in this High School bull shit environment and open my eyes to the life that is living in front of me. However, I do know that there are two very important factors missing in my life right now. I need a dosage of my crazy yet loving family and some very much deserved time with my Filipino (You know who you are!!!! We need to hang out pronto!!!) . I think going home for spring break will be a very good to me, like medicine. I just hope I get enough of home to help get through the end of the semester.
On a side note I want to amputate my right leg because the pain is horrible. About two weeks I rolled/sprained my ankle. The pain hasn't gone away. I am starting to get a bit worried, but I don't want to go to the university's clinic because I am afraid of what they might say. I don't want to wear a cast, be on crutches, or be off my foot; opening night for Major Barbara is in about two weeks and I need to be able to move around without a problem, especially if we are doing it Kabuki Style. Oh well!!!
Send me the love
I really need it
Pray for me
I will hear it
Send me peace
And I'll take it like a kiss
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