Full of Doubt

So, there is this guy that I have been somewhat seeing the past couple of weeks. I like being with him; he makes me laugh and completely understands how much time, effort, and work I have to put into the theater. (This is because he is also involved in the theater, but he works backstage.) I enjoy his company and at times I feel like I don't have to speak in order to fill in the air. There are no ackward moments. However, to all good things there must be a bad side as well. *sigh* I still have doubts whether or not he likes me as much as I like him. I don't know how to explain it. I mean, when I am hanging out with him there is no doubt, but ever so often during my day I stop whatever I am doing, and wonder if he thinks of me just like I think of him. I also have to say that this whole timing thing is terrible. I mean: Come On! Cut me some freakin' slack! Why must this happen just a couple of weeks before school is over. I am not holding him to a full term commitment or anything of that sort, but I would have liked to seen how things might have evolved if this had began earlier. I know we will have next semester, but first, we have to leave for the summer (about 4 months!), come back to school, and start all over again. Well, it seems that way. I don't know, four months in between something that is barely starting or doing I don't know what seems pretty weird. And you might think, "But there is AIM and you have each other's cell phones," that's right, but it will only be for so long. He is going to Russia in July and I might be going to Mexico. So he will come back paler and I will come back darker....hehehe. You have to find the humor in this whole thing I guess. I don't know what will happen. But I am happy right now to have somebody that understands me and I can just hang out with without having to uphold any pretenses. However. there is this little person in the back of my head hitting me with a bat and filling me up with questions.

Doubt seems to be a prevalent theme in my life as I have come to understand. Opening night for the "The Puzzle Locker" is tomorrow night. I have not yet come into agreements with my character. It's ok, but I still don't believe myself. Nigel (my director) still has not said anything to me and I am a bit worried. It's funny, I completely admire the man, but whenever I work with him I get choked up. I can't do anything right. I want to impress him and I find it difficult to do so. With my other directors there isn't that pressure, but Nigel, he is something else. I can't explain it. At times I really think that he just hates the way I act completely. Oh well. Pray for me and if you are in the area go watch it.




He said we can dance tomorrow,
I said we've already danced tonight
Come on baby, it will be all right...
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
All Night...