Crossroads

Is it so horrible for me to really be missing my life back at Rochester even though i am here at home with my family and friends? I know i needed a break from the hectic life i left behind, but there are times where i just feel so out of place here in Texas. I just wish i could combine both of my worlds together. I love being at home and getting to be with my family, but there times where i wish i could go out and just hang out with a couple of people who are my age. Don't get me wrong i have my friends (and of course my bf) here at home, but all of them, individually, have created their own life sort to speak here in the valley. Each of them have their own thing to do, their own little groups of friends, and so on so forth...i guess you can say i feel like a third wheel. I mean what can I do in the short period i am here. I would hate to make new friends just so i can say goodbye to them in a short time. There aren't any jobs here that i would like to do. And lastly, there really isn't that much great theater that i could get my hands into. I miss it....maybe it's just me getting restless. However, there is one big down side to going back to the R.O.C., the amount of work i have to do for all of my classes, and this upcoming semester is no exception either. Like my friend Diana said, I wanna go back to the social life i had at Rochester, not the work. I couldn't agree more. But thinking about it, I am not really sure if i want to go back to all the problems and the small campus that the university has (there are only about 4,000 students at Rochester which can get a bit annoying at times). I want to go back to the age of 18, just graduated from high school and about to embark on a journey of lifetime. I think what i really want to do is go back to Europe. I beg you not to think of me as being "posh," but i really do miss it. I was on my own, and i didn't have to worry about all the known people in my life. I was a blank page waiting to be filled with memories and new faces. I want to go back to the moment of time when i believed that good things could happen. A time when a million words could be spoken all through the eyes. Oh, how you read my eyes... I need a break. I need a rest. I need to stop.

Wo werde ich gehen?