The Embarrassed blocker

Yes, I know it has been an extremely loooooooong time since I have blogged. *sigh* My life has seriously been a roller coaster the last month, and it has actually been a ride of death the last two days.
So, the lowdown:
I am back (once again) in Rochester a week before school officially starts in order to work in Freshmen orientation and welcome all the old and new members of the D-house. Ironically, there has been an immense amount of drama in the Drama House the last two days which has been driving me mad. On top of that, I now have a cold that is taking all my strengths away. Well, at least it is before school and not during classes.... I don't know what I would have done if that would have occurred. My room is still a mess and I STILL have not bought my books. Oh, I also need to find a job because my financial resources are running low. (Goodness, I can't breath with this damn cold!!!)
And oh yeah, I can't forget about the whole pressure about being a Senior this year. There is sooo much to do. I have to fill out grad-school applications, go to job interviews, take the GREs, figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. It's just more stress than what I need. This is it boys and girls; this is the step that will definately put me on the other side of the line in order to become a full adult of flesh and blood. God!!!!!
On top of that, my personal life gets worse by the second. I can't do this... I am falling apart. I know in about a month I will feel glad, joyful, ecstastic!!! But I am currently asking myself, "And what will happen after that?" Will I be back in square one with nothing or nobody by my side? I feel like a small piece of my heart dies with each passing day. It doesn't how many tears I have shed already, they won't make the situation any better. But I am trying to wrap myself with work so as to think the least possible of it. Moreover, I must not worry about the future and just take full advantage of the time that you will be here.
This game of life only gets more difficult with every roll of the dice. I guess it's up to me to adjust my seat belt and try to enjoy as much of the ride as I can.....


I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
-Panic!at the Disco