My mother has always said that one of my biggest qualities and weaknesses is expecting too much from people, expecting people to be good, honest, moral, thoughtful, driven, motivated, generous, and so on and so on. But at times (or recently, it has seem often) my 'high' standards towards people consequentially have led me to disappointment and shock. Moreover, what makes the situation is worse is that I hold on to grudges, thus, the thought of the disappointment will always be with me. No matter how much time passes or no matter how many repairs have been made and apoligies been asked, I still hold on, remember, and constantly remind the victimizer of his/her wrong doing....probably because I want them to know how much pain and sadness their deception had/has/does hurt me. But this is where I am wrong. I keep feeding into this vicious cycle, and by feeding it, I continue to damage my heart, mind, soul, and the ones around me.
On the other side of the spectrum, people have told me to let go of expectations. Their reasoning being, if I don't have any expectations, then I cannot be disappointed, I would be surprised. But I cannot be so apathetic to the situation or to life in general. Why should I lower my standards to comply with the status quo of happiness? Is it so wrong for me to expect more than the normal average? Life is a one-time-gift that I want to enjoy and live to the fullest, hence, I expect those around me to know the same and savor life with me. However, how much credit should I give to people into telepathy? hehehe
A strength or a weakness???
A constant battle with myself, I guess....
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