Everybody Wake Up If U Have Ur Eyes Closed

It has been a million years since I have blogged...
Well, I have been a little busy bumble bee here in the glorious RGV (for all those who don't know... Rio Grande Valley). Ok, so maybe not that glorious all in all, but I have been having a wonderful time back at home with my family and friends. I am so stress relieved right now from everything. There is no school, no work, no drama (*key point: i do not mean drama as in theater. in fact, i miss that the most), no snow, no bubble. Well, you know what i mean. So far all i have been doing is spending time by the pool or by the sea shore which requires a great ability of not doing crap. hehehe I am taking some German classes which are quite nice. I am the only girl in the class. ha! But we are only four students, nonetheless, my ratio is 1 to 3 =). There is no summer fling and I dont think there will be. In fact, i am kind of glad because i dont want some dweeb getting in between my fun time and friends. I have been thinking a lot about what i did this past semester and other than writing my last research paper and doing the two theater productions, there is nothing that i am proud of. My actions, my work, my mentality, they were all poor. And it seems like i was only spending time with certain people in order to numb the pain and feel as if i had some importance to someone in this life. I know it is pathetic and sad, but that was the state of mind i was in. Fortunately, i talked to someone yesterday that helped to clear up some of the clouds in my mind. Maybe next semester i can get to know these people better. i cant promise anything other than to think through more my actions. Well, i got to do some German homework before class. Everyone take care. Miss y'all!!!

We're On A Break

Summer is here and everyone deserves a great and relaxing breaks. I am on a break with the world. Well, mostly, I am on break with my "college" world. I am really happy that I have a division between my college life and my life back at home (maybe because one is New York and the other one is in Texas). So far my vacA has been great. I went to New York City and stayed at my friend's Diana house. I have decided that I must live in New York City for a while before I die. It was amazing!!! I also went to Long Island. I did some mountain biking which was great but unfortunately I wiped out, and now my wrist is sprained. It hurts like a mofo to type. Should I be typing? Oh goodness...I should stop before I hurt myself.

Es ist Sommer!!! Woot!!!

"School is out for the summer"

I am out for the next four months and i am soooo excited. I am in New York right now. Well, not New York technically, but I am in New Jersey with my friend Diana, but we are going into the city on Thursday to rip it apart. I am sooooo stocked. So far everything has been great. Last night I had a blast with peepz at the drama house, unfortunately, I couldn't party that hardy because seeing the procratinator I am, I had to finish packing. I did have a packing helper for awhile, then he fell asleep. hehehe Oh well, there went my help! =) But I took a nap too after I finished packing. Well, we took a nap from around 2 am to a little before 7 am. Sadly, we had to depart ways. (However, I will be visiting Long Island this Friday I believe, so that should be fun)
Today, Diana and I left Rochester for the Great Apple. I am at her house and her family has received so nicely. I am really lucky to have her friends like her that can put up with me. I swear she needs a purple heart or something of that sort. Anyways, I love how both of us are sooo giddy about a topic we share in common in right now: BOYS!!! hehehe It's soo much fun to talk to someone who you can relate to and laugh about your 2nd grader stupid mentallity. (While that was going I got a call from..... to make sure I arrived at New Jersey all right....it was sooo cute *blushing*) Well, people I wish you all a very good summer and I hope you enjoy it. Have a kick-ass time!!!

I Like It Better When I'm On Top

Perverts....
Shame on you for thinking the way you do....
hehehe

I mean, I like myself better when I feel like I am on top of the world. Whenever I am ecstatic, bright eyed, and smiling. Forget the depressing shit that only drags me down. That's the way to go. Even though this is finals week, I still feel pretty good. The weekend completely rocked. Well, Saturday especially. Saturday was closing night for The Puzzle Locker and The Seventh Annual One Act Festival. It was amazing. Both things were jammed packed and I had a blast going from one role to the other in less than 30 minutes. The theater borrowed some of our couches for the one acts and so after the show was over we brought them back to the house. So we are crossing the street, coming out of Todd Union at 1:30 a.m. with 4 couches...it was only a matter of minutes before security came. They didn't want to believe us that the couches belonged to us. So things started to get a little shaky, and the rent-a-cops were getting annoying. They thought we had stolen the couches and were asking to speak to an officer from the house. I told them that I was an officer for next year, but they took my I.D card and started to do a background check. Yes, I am Gaby Jones, master thief of sofas and loveseats. =) Well, at least they came in for that and not the illegal party we were having on the third floor lounge. We are on social probation right now so we can't have any parties. Oooppps!!! But it was the end of the year, end of the shows, and we needed a cast party. Mind you, it was a cast party for The Puzzle Locker and the one acts. OMG, it was insane!!! There was a point in the night were all my boys got, put me in the middle, and made a Gaby-sandwich. hehehe I love my boys!!! Shout out to Trip, Nick, Brian, Jed, Eugene, Nels, Steve D., and anyone that I forgot. lol So, around 3ish I go into Dave Pascoe and Mitch's room and say, "So we definately need to party in the theater with all that dirt!" In about 5 minutes Jeff and I left for the theater to "set up". I didn't do anything I just sat there and watched...hehehe. After a while everyone and their mother came to the theater and we had a party EXTREME!!! We had all the lights from the show and sound system going. It was sooooo cooool. Shhhhh, we are not suppose to tell anyone because Nigel had prohibited us from having a party there in the first place. =) But hey, he warned us about having a party that he knew about, he never mentioned anything about him and not knowing...Bam, a loophole!!! Well, we got out of the theater covered with dirt and Pete Moss (or however you spell it) infested in our lungs. Now, I am coughing and sneezing the most disgusting, blackest boogers of my entire life. Sorry to gross you out. Ah, it doesn't matter anyways because we had a blast. What a way to end the year. (*sigh) Just one more week...



I know exactly where we are.
Where the fuck are we?

Sink beneath the line...

SEXpectations

"If we sleep together would it make it any better?" - Mirah, "La Familia"

I have had this song stuck in my head for the past few days. First of all, it is very catchy. And second, what it says has got me thinking. This is the phrase every guy wants to hear. Guys give you bullshit about not wanting to sleep with them till they make you feel horrible. And of if you "sleep together it [will] make it better"..... for HIM, not for the girl. Now that I am in my twenties I feel the pressure even more so. Sleeping with someone is now an expectation held by many people. Especially if you want a relationship to last for more than two weeks! "You mean I have to sleep with you on the second date just so you can take me out?" What the heck? How did our society go from one extreme to the other? I just don't understand the progression that has happened so suddenly in the last thirty years. It's horrible to feel this pressure when you are going out with a guy. I would not like to think that a guy is only taking me out to a nice dinner and a movie just to make me feel as if I owe him something. "Yeah, if I feed her and entertain her for two hours, she will certainly have to entertain me later. It's only fair. They wanted equality." And yeah, when did equality become the reason for the loss of chivalry, kindness, and manners? Gaining the right to vote does not give you men the permission to treat us like complete assholes. That's why women are more and more vile, fierce, and hostile now towards the opposite sex. We are just protecting ourselves from your ways. And that gives you the incentive to be even worst, and then the whole cycle continues. We both have to stop!!!

So You Can Take That Cookie and Stick It Up....

To make a long story short I am skipping right to the conclusion. I am an IDIOT!!! I am tired of being the one who puts herself on the line. Why can't just for once things go the way I plan. I am so fucking tired of men who have no balls. Yeah, you heard me. No, balls. Because if they did posses any they would let go of all the bullshit against feelings, relationships, girlfriends, etc. Get a fucking clue!!! Do you really think that we girls like your pretenses and your petty impressions you try to make? If we like you is because we see something else besides the cherade, and yet you still keep up with it because letting go of it would signify your vulnerability. I am not a fucking entertainment system. If you want one, get your ass to Best Buy or something like that and purchase one. I am with you because I like spending time with you, not to amuse you. If I wanted to do that, I would join the fucking circus. (Sorry, I know I am saying "fucking" a lot, but it helps to relive some tension) I may not be a clown, but I do know that I am fool because I am always failing mirserably and believing every word anyone says. I guess that's what I get for having a bit of hope in humanity. It's just so unfair that I now have to be skeptic about everyone.

Yeah, that's what I say right now, and I will probably do the opposite. Damn it, I hate myself. I always seem to wrap myself in these vicious cycles that never end. I am through, I am done, I can't do this shit anymore. Go find some other dim-wit to put up with your bullshit because I can't keep up with you anymore.


What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea...
-"Volcano", Damien Rice

Full of Doubt

So, there is this guy that I have been somewhat seeing the past couple of weeks. I like being with him; he makes me laugh and completely understands how much time, effort, and work I have to put into the theater. (This is because he is also involved in the theater, but he works backstage.) I enjoy his company and at times I feel like I don't have to speak in order to fill in the air. There are no ackward moments. However, to all good things there must be a bad side as well. *sigh* I still have doubts whether or not he likes me as much as I like him. I don't know how to explain it. I mean, when I am hanging out with him there is no doubt, but ever so often during my day I stop whatever I am doing, and wonder if he thinks of me just like I think of him. I also have to say that this whole timing thing is terrible. I mean: Come On! Cut me some freakin' slack! Why must this happen just a couple of weeks before school is over. I am not holding him to a full term commitment or anything of that sort, but I would have liked to seen how things might have evolved if this had began earlier. I know we will have next semester, but first, we have to leave for the summer (about 4 months!), come back to school, and start all over again. Well, it seems that way. I don't know, four months in between something that is barely starting or doing I don't know what seems pretty weird. And you might think, "But there is AIM and you have each other's cell phones," that's right, but it will only be for so long. He is going to Russia in July and I might be going to Mexico. So he will come back paler and I will come back darker....hehehe. You have to find the humor in this whole thing I guess. I don't know what will happen. But I am happy right now to have somebody that understands me and I can just hang out with without having to uphold any pretenses. However. there is this little person in the back of my head hitting me with a bat and filling me up with questions.

Doubt seems to be a prevalent theme in my life as I have come to understand. Opening night for the "The Puzzle Locker" is tomorrow night. I have not yet come into agreements with my character. It's ok, but I still don't believe myself. Nigel (my director) still has not said anything to me and I am a bit worried. It's funny, I completely admire the man, but whenever I work with him I get choked up. I can't do anything right. I want to impress him and I find it difficult to do so. With my other directors there isn't that pressure, but Nigel, he is something else. I can't explain it. At times I really think that he just hates the way I act completely. Oh well. Pray for me and if you are in the area go watch it.




He said we can dance tomorrow,
I said we've already danced tonight
Come on baby, it will be all right...
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
All Night...

TECH IS OVER!!! OH SO GLAD.



ALMOST OUT OF HERE...

C'est Moi!!!

Ridin' It

Between gulps of NyQuil, work, classes, and the theater, I am slowly (but surely) killing myself. I am sooo annoyed with myself because it doesn't matter how many hours of sleep I get a night I still feel like crap in the morning. Maybe I should get more sleep during the weekends. I haven't gotten much the past weeks. I found it to be very difficult to be social and studious in college. Why the hell do I have to choose one over the other? I just wish there was more time, or at least that I could have fun in all my classes. So far academically, I have been dissatisfied with this semester, but on the other hand it hasn't been that bad. It's too bad my current situation started so late in the semester, but it's alright. It's not that stressful in retrospect. I just miss riding in the convertible. Can't I just have it??? That's all I want. hehehe It was such a great feeling when I was in co-passenger's seat taking in the view and literally feeling the wind in my face. Yeah, I know it's cheesy, but it was liberating at the same time. I can't think of anything better. Well, yes I can. If I would have been driving it would have been kick-ass. =)

So, I have decided to go to New York City with my friend Diana after the semester is over. She lives outside the city, so I will be staying with her for about a week or so. I am soooo psyched out. Finally!!! I just want to travel this summer, and NYC seems like the perfect city to begin with. Don't worry, I'll bring back gifts for all.


Can't it just be over?



How about this weekend???

There Ya Go

I am not writing this blog entry because I was made to....hehehe

Sam you ROCK my SOCKS!!!

=)

My Poor Pinky

For the past couple of days the weather has been beautiful up here in the R.O.C. It has been a sunny 62degrees (I know that is winter for South Texas), but here that temperature is about 80 degrees above of our normal weather. hehehe Because yesterday was not a day to be sitting inside doing nothing, a bunch of us from the D-House played football outside on the frat-quad. To make a long story short, I hurt myself. I think I sprained my pinky on my left hand. It is maaaaaddddd purple and uber swollen. It looks like it might fall off. lol Ok, maybe not that bad, but it still hurts. So after my injury I decided to retire to the porch of our house and join the others with some Piña Coladas. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was a Wednesday afternoon at 4:30pm and I was already having a drink. Damn!!! It wasn't even happy hour yet. =) Steven and John would be so proud of me. hehehe

Well, other than that I only have to survive school for one more month and then I am out of here. Yay!!!!! I am telling you it has been quite a year, but not as bad as my freshman year. Now, that was hell! I am so psyched out because next year I am finally having a single for mi solita. I am an officer at the Drama House so I get a single. In fact, I am getting one of the biggest singles of the whole house, and maybe even the campus. Ah, I can't wait. Then, I can finally have my cheese and wine party that I have been craving. =) Well, amigos, I'll keep you posted but I gotta split so I can read some stuff before my next class.

25th and 26th of März

Well, I literary have not written in this thing in ages. I just put the last post up so I wouldn't look lame. A lot of things have been going on, nothing major though. Hmmm, let's see so last Friday night Kelly, Chris Justus, Jim, and I decided to paint the tunnels. Well, a tunnel (we have a tunnel here in school that anyone can paint and promote events and etc.). The KD sorority pledged painted all over with dumb little messages that said, "Dear Big, I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Love, Ditzy." It's pathetic. Everyone knows it is, but nobody has ever done anything about it. Why the hell would you put up on a pedestal some dumb girl who you pay their organization about $400/semester? I just don't get it. So, us four took it upon us to make a difference and let the tunnel gain its freedom. You can say it was vandalization, graffitti, or art. It doesn't matter it made a statement. A very RAW statement which I don't think I will get into much detail about. For a whole weekend the tunnel shined and I was secretly engulfing myself with the praises people were giving to our manifestatioin. Unfortunately, another sorority has already covered it up. We shall see about that...

Saturday night was wicked fun. Patty, Kelly, and I went to this oriental restaurant named The King and I where we saw Ryn and Dave C on their first date (oh so cute! PuKe!!! hehehe) . After that Patty dropped us off at the Dryden Theater in the Eastman House where we watched this 1950s film called Harvey starring Jimmy Stewart. It was great. I have forgotten how good and therapeutic it is to laugh at nice innocent humor; I felt like a little kid again. Well, that feeling only last for so long because after the movie Kelly and I walked down East Ave and went to Coyote Joe's and had a couple of beers. (Those were the only drinks we could afford, they were a dollar special) About 30 minutes Patty arrived from the theater and we decided to go to Milestone's on A(lexander) Street. Oh my goodness, it was soooooooo much fun!!! There was a live band, the music was great, the lead singer tried to .....with us (lol), and we got a couple of more drinks as well (ay, ya ya). Towards the end of the night these two guys bought Kelly and I two rounds of drinks (Patty was not interested, she's got a boy). These guys try to talk to us and it's going well. Then they ask us, "So, what do you two do?" And we respond, "We go to the U of R. How about you guys?" They say, "Oh, we don't go to school. We are PROFESSIONAL PAINT BALL PLAYERS." What??? Now, that is either the coolest job on this planet or the corniest, cheesiest, lamest pick-up line I have ever heard. Kelly and I agreed it was the second one and we just cracked up. Oh my gosh. That's insane. After that remark nothing happened, and we had to get going it was about 3 am. Plus, all three of us had rehearsal at 10 am. The guys insisted for us to come back next week and meet them there. I am not so sure, but if they are going buy us a couple more rounds I wouldn't mind. Hahaha!!! Whatever, I am not selling myself for some "Long Island Ice Tea" or a "Metropolitan". I just had too much fun.

Maybe this weekend I shall go again...

Speechless

This is what we discussed in my Political Science class titled "Art & Politics" this past Thursday....









where are we heading to?

Back in the R.O.C.

Damn. I am back in upstate New York with the cold and probably getting a cold. It's hard to believe that just a week ago I was in 90 degree weather with the sun on my face and be surrounded by some truly awesome people. Now, I am back at Rochester with more work than I can handle, stress from work, classes, and the plays. Yes, you read right. I wrote PLAYS. I am in the play I auditioned for since the beginning of this year and I also tried out for the annual one act festival, and I got in. It's going to be insane. I think by the end of this year I will definately have some two or three (thousand) grey hairs. I have been irritated so much already with some things going down in the theater that I have compiled a list. Here it goes:

Irritating Things in the Theater:
1. Girls who are definately way bigger than a B cup not wearing any bras and jumping up and down
2. Receiving directions from two people at a time
3. People not understandig the fact that I have a speech impediment

i will continue later i have to go

Estoy en Tejas

Ahhh!!! This is not good, definately not good (Well, it's excellent, but that's besides the point). I am getting too accustomed to this warm weather, the pampering, the not doing any work, the taking a break from everything, hanging out with my friends, being with my family. It's going to be horrible when I get back. I am going to miss all these wonderful parts of my life. Spring Break has been soooooooooooo great and I really don't want to go back to school next Monday. I would love it if my university was here. hehehe However, I do miss my peepz from upstate New York. Ahhhhhh. I am so torn apart. You see, school would be awesome if I didn't have to go back to writing three 15-pages essays, getting back my International Relations exams, going to work, and not having any sleep. Other than that school would kick some major butt!!! LOL Oh well. (*sigh*) However, I am a bit ansy to see how the new play is going to be. I really hope I stayed as an antagonist. I love being the bad one (because I am so not that in real life ....hehehe). We'll see what happens in the next days. But as of right now I have to go to the Sprint Store and get my phone checked again. Ugh!!! They put the wrong area code its 585 not 956!!!


Tracey's joke of the week:

What does Snoop Doggy Dog use to wash his whites?


Blllllllllllleeeeeaaaaatch!!!!! (I don't know if I spelled it right, but you get the point. Oh, that Tracey cracks me up.)



P.S. Happy Be-Lated 21st Patty =)

My Favorite Pic Ever!!!

I love this pic. It was backstage in the Green Room during A Mouthful of Birds. Ted looks like he is taking a dump. Shannnon is rocking out. And Nick and I are getting our dance groove on. It's the best. So Much DYNAMITE!!!

Freedom!!!

Sintiendo el fuego en mi interior...


I am done, I am done, I am done, I am freakin' done!!! I had my last final today on Theories of International Relations (PSC 272). Can I say that was brutal?!?!?!?!

Well, I haven't blogged in about a week. It has been mad crazy. I haven't had any descent sleep for the past week. I have been going to sleep at 5:30 am and waking up at 9:30 am to go to class. I am running on energy drinks like Red Bulls and today I barely had a somewhat ok meal. But I am too busy with the play, work, school, homework, socializing (hehehe). However, today all my classes are done. Well, at least for a week but all in all i still have a break. Sooooooo, Sunday I will be going home to TX to the warmth. I come back to crappy winds and feet of snow of Rochester on March 14th. I can't wait to see everybody. I am need some desperate lovin' from mi familia and amigos!!! Don't get me wrong I love all my friends here (special shout out to Patty and Nick(DiCola not to be confused with Nick Charkow from back at home, although I am sending a shout to you too man, I haven't see or talked to you in forever!!!)), but you know I just need that love from da Rio Grande!!! Patty and Nick, you always make me smile. Thank you for your gift.

Today, after my test I went to Common Ground Cafe with Ted and met Nels there. My boyz are insane. They made me laugh so much. But Nels and I were like on this high because we are so psyched to go home. He goes to the warmth of Cali, and well, you know where I am going. We had these huge smiles plasterred on our faces. I felt kind of bad because we were talking about it in front of Ted (Ted, is from Syracuse about 2 hours from here, so he will just see snow throughout his Spring Break). I'll get a tan for you !!! =) I am so glad all this shit is behind me. Now, I am just counting down to go home. I will be chillaxing like it's my job!!!

On a very side note...I have been hearing this "Soldier" song by Destiny's Child all over the place. I freakin' hate it. There are some guys here from the Army ROTC group on campus that think its the best thing ever because they sing, "I need a soldier." Hello, they don't mean a soldier like in the army, they mean like a strong man in the sack and with a large sack. Can it get anymore explicit? Oh dumb boys with their big egos. The song is sooo repetitive and without a point. It's not one of Destiny Child's best. I prefer to stay with the classics like Can You Pay My Bills, I Say No No No, or Say My Name. All good songs that have not been produced by lead singer's boyfriend. Ugh!!!

Check me out with my crazy costume and make-up for "Major Barbara"!!!

Something Major

So tonight is the big night...
Major Barbara is opening. Finally, all the work, hours spent in the theater, and the strenuous Kabuki will pay off. I wish I had a little bit more of energy so I could really be happy about it. Don't get me wrong I am ecstatic, but my first reaction when people were saying, "Opening night is tomorrow!" my thoughts were Wow! I am almost going home to take a rest! I mean how f***ed up is that? I should be jumping around and shouting at the top of my lungs, but lately I have been so tired with eveything and everyone. I am just irritated for some reason and I can't put my finger on it. I want to rest. I need to rest before I end up having to rest on a hospital bed.
However, I do want to say that I am so proud of the entire cast and crew for Major Barbara. We all put ourselves and Todd Theater on the line with this prodution, but I think we have a kick-ass show. Everyone is rocking out with their costumes, make up, and Kabuki. I can't believe that five weeks have slipped through our hands and now we are hear about to embark on the last leg of this crazy journey. You have surprised me! (and I have even surprised myself) Break a leg!!! p.s. We must get those massages.








I am ready to fly...