I Had A BABY!!!!

Hahahaha....
Ok, well i wasn't pregnant nor anything of that sort. But i did have a baby today. My Suitemate's girlfriend was taking care of her friend's baby. She got here and decided to have breakfast so i volunteered to take care of the baby, Elias. As soon as i grabbed him he started laughing and smiling. Everyone around the table said, "Oh, look how cute Mommy Gaby is!!!" Yikes.... But he was adorable. He seemed to be a big fan of my Handy as well. He baptized it with his slobber all over it. lol It was weird, for a second i saw myself having one of those (a baby). But i think i scared myself. And although i wish to have one (or mayber more than one), i dont think it will be tomorrow, nor next week, nor anywhere in the next few years. We'll see what time brings me. hahaha Can you imagine me, a mom??? Oh wow!!! Don't worry i am not trying to scare any of the following peoples: parents, siblings, BOYFRIEND, friends, etc. Let's just call the events of today as a glimpse into the future....far future.



Check out this new song from Snow Patrol titled "You Are All I Have"
its pretty cool...

Strain this chaos turn it into light
I've got to see you one last night
Before the lions take their share
Leave us in pieces, scattered everywhere

Just give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Just give me something to hold onto

It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear cos you are all that I have
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear cos you are all that I have

Elias and Mommy. Ha!!! Yeah right. I think babysitting is just fine for right now. =)

Yum,yum...Elias seems to have a taste for cell phones

Elias and me....hmmm, even though he is so cute i think i will hold back for a few years before i have my own (German?) baby/babies

Es tut mir leid.....

Oh me....

When someone tells you that they can't call you for a while, one would think there would a legitimate reason behind it? One would like to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. One would think that the reasoning behind the lack of communication would be that they have to study for an exam, they have meetings, they have to do a group project, and so on and so forth. But when the person who you haven't had any contact with the last few days calls you from a party and then states that all they did was watch a soccer game and go to a party, of course one will get a bit annoyed. *sigh*

I should not be pissed off nor mad. It was only about two days, but they seemed like forever. Ugh, I hate being here in Freiburg with nothing to do other than school. If i were in New York or Texas i would care less because i would be busy, too. I have my University, my job, the theater, all my friends, my dance team, my coffee shops, my whole life. (Unfortunately, the only part of my life missing when I am in New York or Texas is YOU.) But being here with nothing to do gives me way tooo much time on my hands to think and to over think things. i miss having a complete life. i miss the hustle and bustle. Yes, i complain about it, but it is my life, and it is the thing that keeps me going. I hate scaring myself when I think too much. I think and I analyze my future, my past, my present, and the present from others.

I hate not being there….
I hate not being here….

Love is suicide,
Love is suicide

“Bodies,” The Smashing Pumpkins

Jean Grey Got a Package!!!

OMG, i got the best friends a gal could ever ask for. This has already been a good day, but this, this just puts it over the top.
i was happily walking back to the EU center after i got out of German class. i was über happy. yesterday i took a test which i thought i failed completely, but today i got it back and there was a nice big red "A" on it with a nice smiley face!!!! "Oh damn!!!," i thought, "i rocked Passive's ass!!!" (sidenote** i believe the Passive form in the German language to be my arch enemy...hehehe). So i am walking into the EU center and i notice these two bigs packages that arrived, but i didnt dare look at them because in the past four months that i have been here i havent received a package from the States. But on the contraire, today, i did get one. and it was huge!!!
it was from my friends Sean, Ryn, Kristin, and Mitch. Oh God, i love these kids!!! They sent me:
-3 packages of brownie mix
-strawberry jello
-mac & cheese for days
-gummi peaches from Trolli
-exotic bamboo lotion (i have no idea what for???? hehehe)
-a teddy bear
-Hershey's Kisses
-a lovely card
and
-a late Christmas present from Sean (a.k.a. a top of the line Starbucks, thermal, french press, ready-to-go coffee mug) I LOVE IT!!! (thanks, Sean!!!)

You guys totally made my day. i eyes started to get teary after i finished reading the card. i cant believe being apart from you guys would be so difficult. but we will soon be together and we can be as wacky as ever, or maybe even more!!! hahaha i very much appreciate the gesture and you know that i love you from the bottom of my heart. i am so lucky and blessed to have you as friends. I love you!!!!


i cant wait to use my new mug, Sean!!!
=)

Lady Ms. Puke-It-All

So what can I say…. The following pictures are from Saturday night's AnKneipe to celebrate the beginning of the Summer Semester. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am seeing a frat boy….hehehehe. However, the frats in Germany are waaaaay different than the ones we are accustomed to in the States. So, Saturday April 22, 2006, Renke and I celebrated with all his other brothers and guests the beginning of a new semester. Well, technically, he is in the current process of pledging. I couldn’t be happier for him. He is getting into a really awesome group of guys that deserve nothing more than songs and praises. He got baptized and was given the lovey-name of “Kalle”. I still can’t call him that, yet….maybe because I am not used to it… but I have a feeling I will always call him Renke.

So, why the title to this blog??? Well, I was feeling Ms. HotStuff strutting with my dress and feeling pretty, however, this AnKneipe (Kneipe means Bar in German) tricks you (or at least it tricked me) into drinking as much beer as possible. I would have been alright but that combined with Vodka shots and White Wine, one is bound to get into a mess. There are certain sides of girl that no one should see, especially the boy she likes. Well, to sum it all up (and literally UP), I had wonderful upchuck reflexes which poured themselves unto the bed, floor, carpet, bathroom, etc. I was like a male cat, proclaiming my territory and leaving my trace behind wherever I went. But I am lucky enough that I had a gentleman by my side that helped me through the night and was there to offer me aspirin and cola. I awoke next to the most caring creature on the face of this planet and to two red roses. *sigh*

The funny thing is that this brought us closer together and made us feel more comfortable together. However, I will never hear the end of this because I earned myself a lifetime of ridicule and laughter by him…well, at least it’s from him and not somebody else.

Owww, look at those two hotties!!! AnKneipe Saturday, April 22, 2006

Ohhhh, what's that???? Too close, but too cute to pass up.

Me with the boys....awwww, isn't that lovely???

The fraternity's officers....oh soo cute. I love the real tradition they portray (unlike other frats....)

So part of the "hazing" process is that the pledge has to figure out which is the real Coca Cola from the rest, however, all have some type of liquour in them....oh,oooh!!!!

Which cola is it????

Renke getting "baptized" .... his new name is Kalle

lately...

It seems like i do things better when i am on my own...or maybe i am not so judgmental when i am by myself, but lately (being here in Braunschweig), i feel like a dimwit. i cant do anything right. the cooking that i once took so much pride in is gone down the drain. i dont know what i am doing wrong, nothing i prepare tastes good (and poor Renke, i can see him trying to swallow whatever mess i made). =( i was trying to do some laundry....i couldnt even separate it correctly. *sigh* i just get the feeling that this whole "let's play house" is not the right game for me. dont get me wrong, i love tending to him...its like showing him how much i care, but if i am sucking at it, wont that mean that i dont care that much???? *double sigh* God, knows that i am trying and i am trying to calm myself down, but everytime i try to do something it just ends up blowing up in my face.
I love being here, i just wish that i wouldnt feel so out-of-place. only time will tell, but sadly, my time with him is almost over and i will be back to hectic life in Freiburg. btw, i have been sleeping here so much that i think that Renke might feel as if i am a lazy bum....hehehe. but thats how a girl gets when she hasnt had that much sleep the last three weeks or try more like, the last three years.....
Well, until then, i feel like i should go read 'Home and Garden' or some stuff like that so i can feel at least competent in READING delicious gourmet recipies and keeping your whites apart from your colored.


Is there anyone out there
cuz it's getting harder and harder
to breath

Ein kleines Update...

So I know it has been forever since i last blogged or posted up any pics. i would put up some pics but i am currently not using my computer.
Since last Friday i have been out for Spring Break (yeah i know it is really late). I took the train to Apen (North Germany) and stayed the Easter Weekend with Renke.
It was wonderful, however, I have never felt so nervous, confused, and scared in my life. I don't know what happened to me. The little self-confidence in me drifted away from me and left me alone. All i wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and stay quiet. Dont get me wrong I wasn't feelingl like this with him, it was mostly with the parental unit (dear good'ol mom). She has quite a presence. Everytime i was left alone i could feel her eyes looking at me and judging me....thinking what are you doing here? i might be wrong in my judgment, but i didn't feel like this at all with the other family i met of his. We went to Holland for the day and visited the family where he stayed during his internship. OMG, they were amazing....probably some of the nicest and friendliest people i have ever met. It's amazing what a difference 80 kilometers and a country border makes. The entire family was so warm and even said hello with the customary kiss on the cheek (however, they kiss 3 times!!!). Their oldest son even taught me how to drive manual.... Can you believe it??? One of my all time dreams finally came true, now i can become a race car driver like i have always wanted....hehehehe
The region of Germany where i spent my Easter weekend has the tradition of the Easter fire. Saturday night when Renke and I were driving back from Holland (which were running late), i gazed out the car's window and saw the beauty and wonderment of Easter in Germany. The sun had set and there were fires in the horizon. It was beautiful how everything was lit up. The power of fire never ceases to amaze me. Saturday was one of the most perfect days i have ever had in my life......

more to come, be patient and i will be kind to you, my readers

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

-"Goodbye My Lover"
James Blunt

In the Meantime....

I am baaaack....
Just arrived yesterday afternoon...

wish i could have a break,
but now i have to write papers!!!!
ahhhhhhhh

pictures coming soon!