Ein kleines Update...

So I know it has been forever since i last blogged or posted up any pics. i would put up some pics but i am currently not using my computer.
Since last Friday i have been out for Spring Break (yeah i know it is really late). I took the train to Apen (North Germany) and stayed the Easter Weekend with Renke.
It was wonderful, however, I have never felt so nervous, confused, and scared in my life. I don't know what happened to me. The little self-confidence in me drifted away from me and left me alone. All i wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and stay quiet. Dont get me wrong I wasn't feelingl like this with him, it was mostly with the parental unit (dear good'ol mom). She has quite a presence. Everytime i was left alone i could feel her eyes looking at me and judging me....thinking what are you doing here? i might be wrong in my judgment, but i didn't feel like this at all with the other family i met of his. We went to Holland for the day and visited the family where he stayed during his internship. OMG, they were amazing....probably some of the nicest and friendliest people i have ever met. It's amazing what a difference 80 kilometers and a country border makes. The entire family was so warm and even said hello with the customary kiss on the cheek (however, they kiss 3 times!!!). Their oldest son even taught me how to drive manual.... Can you believe it??? One of my all time dreams finally came true, now i can become a race car driver like i have always wanted....hehehehe
The region of Germany where i spent my Easter weekend has the tradition of the Easter fire. Saturday night when Renke and I were driving back from Holland (which were running late), i gazed out the car's window and saw the beauty and wonderment of Easter in Germany. The sun had set and there were fires in the horizon. It was beautiful how everything was lit up. The power of fire never ceases to amaze me. Saturday was one of the most perfect days i have ever had in my life......

more to come, be patient and i will be kind to you, my readers

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

-"Goodbye My Lover"
James Blunt