Elias and Mommy. Ha!!! Yeah right. I think babysitting is just fine for right now. =)

Yum,yum...Elias seems to have a taste for cell phones

Elias and me....hmmm, even though he is so cute i think i will hold back for a few years before i have my own (German?) baby/babies

Es tut mir leid.....

Oh me....

When someone tells you that they can't call you for a while, one would think there would a legitimate reason behind it? One would like to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. One would think that the reasoning behind the lack of communication would be that they have to study for an exam, they have meetings, they have to do a group project, and so on and so forth. But when the person who you haven't had any contact with the last few days calls you from a party and then states that all they did was watch a soccer game and go to a party, of course one will get a bit annoyed. *sigh*

I should not be pissed off nor mad. It was only about two days, but they seemed like forever. Ugh, I hate being here in Freiburg with nothing to do other than school. If i were in New York or Texas i would care less because i would be busy, too. I have my University, my job, the theater, all my friends, my dance team, my coffee shops, my whole life. (Unfortunately, the only part of my life missing when I am in New York or Texas is YOU.) But being here with nothing to do gives me way tooo much time on my hands to think and to over think things. i miss having a complete life. i miss the hustle and bustle. Yes, i complain about it, but it is my life, and it is the thing that keeps me going. I hate scaring myself when I think too much. I think and I analyze my future, my past, my present, and the present from others.

I hate not being there….
I hate not being here….

Love is suicide,
Love is suicide

“Bodies,” The Smashing Pumpkins

Jean Grey Got a Package!!!

OMG, i got the best friends a gal could ever ask for. This has already been a good day, but this, this just puts it over the top.
i was happily walking back to the EU center after i got out of German class. i was über happy. yesterday i took a test which i thought i failed completely, but today i got it back and there was a nice big red "A" on it with a nice smiley face!!!! "Oh damn!!!," i thought, "i rocked Passive's ass!!!" (sidenote** i believe the Passive form in the German language to be my arch enemy...hehehe). So i am walking into the EU center and i notice these two bigs packages that arrived, but i didnt dare look at them because in the past four months that i have been here i havent received a package from the States. But on the contraire, today, i did get one. and it was huge!!!
it was from my friends Sean, Ryn, Kristin, and Mitch. Oh God, i love these kids!!! They sent me:
-3 packages of brownie mix
-strawberry jello
-mac & cheese for days
-gummi peaches from Trolli
-exotic bamboo lotion (i have no idea what for???? hehehe)
-a teddy bear
-Hershey's Kisses
-a lovely card
and
-a late Christmas present from Sean (a.k.a. a top of the line Starbucks, thermal, french press, ready-to-go coffee mug) I LOVE IT!!! (thanks, Sean!!!)

You guys totally made my day. i eyes started to get teary after i finished reading the card. i cant believe being apart from you guys would be so difficult. but we will soon be together and we can be as wacky as ever, or maybe even more!!! hahaha i very much appreciate the gesture and you know that i love you from the bottom of my heart. i am so lucky and blessed to have you as friends. I love you!!!!


i cant wait to use my new mug, Sean!!!
=)

Lady Ms. Puke-It-All

So what can I say…. The following pictures are from Saturday night's AnKneipe to celebrate the beginning of the Summer Semester. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am seeing a frat boy….hehehehe. However, the frats in Germany are waaaaay different than the ones we are accustomed to in the States. So, Saturday April 22, 2006, Renke and I celebrated with all his other brothers and guests the beginning of a new semester. Well, technically, he is in the current process of pledging. I couldn’t be happier for him. He is getting into a really awesome group of guys that deserve nothing more than songs and praises. He got baptized and was given the lovey-name of “Kalle”. I still can’t call him that, yet….maybe because I am not used to it… but I have a feeling I will always call him Renke.

So, why the title to this blog??? Well, I was feeling Ms. HotStuff strutting with my dress and feeling pretty, however, this AnKneipe (Kneipe means Bar in German) tricks you (or at least it tricked me) into drinking as much beer as possible. I would have been alright but that combined with Vodka shots and White Wine, one is bound to get into a mess. There are certain sides of girl that no one should see, especially the boy she likes. Well, to sum it all up (and literally UP), I had wonderful upchuck reflexes which poured themselves unto the bed, floor, carpet, bathroom, etc. I was like a male cat, proclaiming my territory and leaving my trace behind wherever I went. But I am lucky enough that I had a gentleman by my side that helped me through the night and was there to offer me aspirin and cola. I awoke next to the most caring creature on the face of this planet and to two red roses. *sigh*

The funny thing is that this brought us closer together and made us feel more comfortable together. However, I will never hear the end of this because I earned myself a lifetime of ridicule and laughter by him…well, at least it’s from him and not somebody else.

Owww, look at those two hotties!!! AnKneipe Saturday, April 22, 2006

Ohhhh, what's that???? Too close, but too cute to pass up.

Me with the boys....awwww, isn't that lovely???

The fraternity's officers....oh soo cute. I love the real tradition they portray (unlike other frats....)

So part of the "hazing" process is that the pledge has to figure out which is the real Coca Cola from the rest, however, all have some type of liquour in them....oh,oooh!!!!

Which cola is it????

Renke getting "baptized" .... his new name is Kalle

lately...

It seems like i do things better when i am on my own...or maybe i am not so judgmental when i am by myself, but lately (being here in Braunschweig), i feel like a dimwit. i cant do anything right. the cooking that i once took so much pride in is gone down the drain. i dont know what i am doing wrong, nothing i prepare tastes good (and poor Renke, i can see him trying to swallow whatever mess i made). =( i was trying to do some laundry....i couldnt even separate it correctly. *sigh* i just get the feeling that this whole "let's play house" is not the right game for me. dont get me wrong, i love tending to him...its like showing him how much i care, but if i am sucking at it, wont that mean that i dont care that much???? *double sigh* God, knows that i am trying and i am trying to calm myself down, but everytime i try to do something it just ends up blowing up in my face.
I love being here, i just wish that i wouldnt feel so out-of-place. only time will tell, but sadly, my time with him is almost over and i will be back to hectic life in Freiburg. btw, i have been sleeping here so much that i think that Renke might feel as if i am a lazy bum....hehehe. but thats how a girl gets when she hasnt had that much sleep the last three weeks or try more like, the last three years.....
Well, until then, i feel like i should go read 'Home and Garden' or some stuff like that so i can feel at least competent in READING delicious gourmet recipies and keeping your whites apart from your colored.


Is there anyone out there
cuz it's getting harder and harder
to breath

Ein kleines Update...

So I know it has been forever since i last blogged or posted up any pics. i would put up some pics but i am currently not using my computer.
Since last Friday i have been out for Spring Break (yeah i know it is really late). I took the train to Apen (North Germany) and stayed the Easter Weekend with Renke.
It was wonderful, however, I have never felt so nervous, confused, and scared in my life. I don't know what happened to me. The little self-confidence in me drifted away from me and left me alone. All i wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and stay quiet. Dont get me wrong I wasn't feelingl like this with him, it was mostly with the parental unit (dear good'ol mom). She has quite a presence. Everytime i was left alone i could feel her eyes looking at me and judging me....thinking what are you doing here? i might be wrong in my judgment, but i didn't feel like this at all with the other family i met of his. We went to Holland for the day and visited the family where he stayed during his internship. OMG, they were amazing....probably some of the nicest and friendliest people i have ever met. It's amazing what a difference 80 kilometers and a country border makes. The entire family was so warm and even said hello with the customary kiss on the cheek (however, they kiss 3 times!!!). Their oldest son even taught me how to drive manual.... Can you believe it??? One of my all time dreams finally came true, now i can become a race car driver like i have always wanted....hehehehe
The region of Germany where i spent my Easter weekend has the tradition of the Easter fire. Saturday night when Renke and I were driving back from Holland (which were running late), i gazed out the car's window and saw the beauty and wonderment of Easter in Germany. The sun had set and there were fires in the horizon. It was beautiful how everything was lit up. The power of fire never ceases to amaze me. Saturday was one of the most perfect days i have ever had in my life......

more to come, be patient and i will be kind to you, my readers

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

-"Goodbye My Lover"
James Blunt

In the Meantime....

I am baaaack....
Just arrived yesterday afternoon...

wish i could have a break,
but now i have to write papers!!!!
ahhhhhhhh

pictures coming soon!

Euro-Trip, Volume II

Well, boys and girls
I am leaving tomorrow for another 2 weeks to Western (we are number 1, so much better than the East) Europe. I will soon be back with photos and awesome stories. Take care and hope to talk to you soon.

Itenarary for the next 2 weeks:

Luxembourg
March 23

Paris
March 23-March 26

Brussels
March 26-March 29

Frankfurt
March 29-March 30

Berlin
March 30-April 2

Part I

Budapest, Hungary
February 23-25, 2006

Driving from the airport towards the city one can really tell that there is a huge discrepancy between classes. The outside of the city is rundown. There are houses made out of cardboard and the streets are covered with sleeping people. All I could say to myself was, “I believe we have arrived in Europe’s Third World.” As we approached the inner city, the grand buildings sneaked out from the fog and showed us the city’s ‘true’ beauty. It seems that the inner city suffers from short term memory loss. It swims in the ocean of its riches and beauty while the other half stands by and watches in jealousy.

Budapest, Hungary

Institute for European Studies

After climbing the Statues of Liberty in Budapest...oh so tired!!!One of the nine connecting Buda and Pest

Budapest getting close to sunset

Budapest's Statue of Liberty. It's pretty alright, but damn, I had to hike to the freaking mountain in heels to see it just because we didn't have enough time to go to the hotel and change. It hurt like a MoFo, but now I have some killer calves. =)

Inside the Hungarian Parliament

Hungarian Parliament at Night.

I am speechless....

Cute Pic!!! Notice the Commi Hats. hahaha

Hot Drummer who all girls were drooling about when we are the Jazz Club.

Part II

Krakow, Poland

February 25-28, 2006

I was very much surprised by Krakow. When I heard Poland, my very first thoughts were of a city with Soviet remains, underdeveloped, and very cold. Even though it was cold in Krakow, I was proven wrong. Yes, there are still remaining issues within Krakow/Poland to resolve, however, this country is well on its way to obtaining its goals.

Krakow, Poland

Krakow's Town Square in the Old Town part of the city.

More Town Square...

The Dragon! Legend has it that Sir Krak ( I am not kidding!), slayed the dragon that threatened the small village. However, he did this by killing a couple of cows and opening their stomachs and placed sulfur in them. He put the cows in front of the dragon's cave. When the dragon awoke from his slumber, he saw the cows in front of its cave and ate them. Afterwards, it drank from the lake. The water's reaction to the sulfur caused the dragon to blow up like a balloon and, thus, it exploded. Krak became the king, hence, Krakow.

Town Square

THE HEAD!!!!

Church where John Paul II gave services before he became the Pope.

The City Theater in Krakow where we saw "La Boheme"

Club Viagra.....yup, and that's us inside the club's vagina (literally!). And of course, such occassion diserves the ShOcKeR!!!

Club Hopping with the Zebras

Part III

Prague, Czech Republic
February 28-March 2, 2006

Prague is probably the only city that could probably pass as a western European city. There is a sense in the air of self-assurance and confidence amongst the Praguers (if there could be such a term). I fail to say “amongst the Czechs” because this would encircle the entire country, hence, there is nothing else to do than to create a single word to describe this group of people. Walking through Prague’s city center, I noticed the lack of poverty and trash on the streets. There was not any or the city has done a very good job in hiding it. There is an ongoing growing young community with high hopes and new feelings of optimism. The youth and the city are evolving at the same time and only time will tell in which direction Prague (and hopefully the Czech Republic) will be heading.

Cheers!!!! Prost!!!! Salud!!! Oh, how I love my dunkel beer.

At the Hungarian Palace

downtown

Prague

Downtown Prague

Hot business mamacitas at the Charle's Brdige

The Charle's Bridge

Part IV

Tallinn, Estonia
March 2-5, 2006

I knew Tallinn was very different from the other cities we have visited as soon as I walked into the airport. From right there, one could see the differences in building structures including the material used and the magnitude (or the non-existent magnitude in this case) in which this building was created. The airport was very small just like the country, but I also knew at that moment that I have misjudged the Estonians. As I was walking out from the gate into the main part of the airport, I noticed a full grown man wearing a mouse or bear costume sitting quietly on a bench by a corner. A smile grew slowly upon his face when he saw his friends walk out to greet him. Of course, his friends were surprised and laughing hysterically. And just like his friends, I, too, was surprised at Tallinn’s over all attitude. Unfortunately, there is still a small reminiscence Soviet air, but slowly and surely the Estonian youth is producing a new type of aura in Estonia. One night I went to a club and I met some locals. They were so surprised when they found out I was American. “We are so happy! We rarely see Americans here,” they told me. Is this a step closer towards globalization for Estonia?

The market square

The Long Leg Street... hence the boot

IES invites you.... Final dinner at Tallinn, Estonia

The best drink special ever at Club Havana= 2 for 1 drinks... oh my it was sooo much fun...i danced with some "Russkis" ( a.k.a. Russians) who were so excited to find out that i was a Mexican-American...who would of thought? i made friends with the Soviets...hehehe

The boys being pretty with their cocktails...oh how manly of them!!!

awwww....

Russian Orthodox church... this is a bitter sweet land mark.... in this church the Soviets burned all the books and writing the belonged to the people of Tallinn.....also, when we went in there, there was a funeral going on...yikes!!! that was akward....

To go downtown you must pass part of the castle...

Beautiful...

Finland coast in the yonder

Tallinn, Estonia

We met these British guys at an Indian Restaurant...we ended up singing "God Save the Queen" and "The Star Spangled Banner" with them...

And here we go...

Back from East and Central Europe...
will post up pics in a couple of days....
don't worry, i haven't caught the bird flu...

lol

miss everyone....