Woot Woot

I am back from Waco people!!! In one weekend I drove over 1,000 miles. Anyways, mad props to my lil' bro for doing so well in his swimming competitions. Let me just brag and say, MY LIL' BRO IS ONE OF THE TOP 15 SWIMMERS OF HIS AGE GROUP IN TEXAS. Yay! Awesome job EdWIN!!! Keep rocking

I am with you...

Emily...what a Biaaatch!!!

Well people this could very well my lost blog entry for a long while. There is a possibility that Hurricane Emily might come straight towards my home. Ok, maybe not my home technically, but it might come to the Rio Grande Valley. These past days we've had a couple of isolated showers which have not been that silent if i may add. Everybody please keep my sweet old Texas in your prayers and hope that big bad Biatch of a Hurricane will change its mind and hit Louisiana or some hick place like that. Oh, also please keep in your prayers that all the people of beautiful Cancun, Mexico are well. The hurricane is hitting there tonight. Thanks Y'all!!!

Crossroads

Is it so horrible for me to really be missing my life back at Rochester even though i am here at home with my family and friends? I know i needed a break from the hectic life i left behind, but there are times where i just feel so out of place here in Texas. I just wish i could combine both of my worlds together. I love being at home and getting to be with my family, but there times where i wish i could go out and just hang out with a couple of people who are my age. Don't get me wrong i have my friends (and of course my bf) here at home, but all of them, individually, have created their own life sort to speak here in the valley. Each of them have their own thing to do, their own little groups of friends, and so on so forth...i guess you can say i feel like a third wheel. I mean what can I do in the short period i am here. I would hate to make new friends just so i can say goodbye to them in a short time. There aren't any jobs here that i would like to do. And lastly, there really isn't that much great theater that i could get my hands into. I miss it....maybe it's just me getting restless. However, there is one big down side to going back to the R.O.C., the amount of work i have to do for all of my classes, and this upcoming semester is no exception either. Like my friend Diana said, I wanna go back to the social life i had at Rochester, not the work. I couldn't agree more. But thinking about it, I am not really sure if i want to go back to all the problems and the small campus that the university has (there are only about 4,000 students at Rochester which can get a bit annoying at times). I want to go back to the age of 18, just graduated from high school and about to embark on a journey of lifetime. I think what i really want to do is go back to Europe. I beg you not to think of me as being "posh," but i really do miss it. I was on my own, and i didn't have to worry about all the known people in my life. I was a blank page waiting to be filled with memories and new faces. I want to go back to the moment of time when i believed that good things could happen. A time when a million words could be spoken all through the eyes. Oh, how you read my eyes... I need a break. I need a rest. I need to stop.

Wo werde ich gehen?

(Bitter)Sweet Fantansy

Oh my goodness, everywhere i go i am hearing this freaking song!!! Ok, Mariah Carey, i get the point and i am killing myself for it. What can i say, i agree!!! Ok, you got it out of me, but please stop playing that song. It's like that y'all....

Ok, so it's not the song that i just referred to, but it is a song off of her latest cd. You guessed it; it's "We Belong Together" I get it. Just don't throw it in my face. Every time i hear it i feel just a little bit more guiltier than the time before. Mariah, just leave me alone!!! hehehe Well, once again life and all its coincidences make me laugh. But just for kicks, here are some of the lyrics from the song. Enjoy!

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everythingI never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby(We belong together)

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better


Ok, Mariah, I get it....

ich vermiss dich...

The World is F***ed Up!!!

Well I had an amazing time at Austin with Tracey. We went to the Lifehouse concert and saw the love of my life ....JASON WADE!!! 1,2,3 *sigh* Like always he looked beautiful and sang beautifully as well. *sigh* I think he is the only guy around my age that is not a complete jerk if I am wrong about that i don't want to be right. He was sooo great (also Rick and Bryce). All three band members were so nice and funny when we talked to them and acted if we went way back....hehehe
Besides that, the world is f'ed up as my title so nicely puts it. When i woke up yesterday i could not believe the news about London. I mean, how the hell can some people bring devastation and sadness to the lives of so many? My friend Amanda wrote me an e-mail saying how sad she was to hear what had happened, especially because her and I had spent about 2 weeks in London just a couple of months ago. We both fell in love with the city and grew some type of love and ownership for it. It saddens me that it has come down to the point that we cannot trust anybody and that we must always be vigilant whenever we go out into the streets, especially in larger cities. But are really small towns like mine safe from all this chaos? I even get scared at times that something might happen at my home because we are a very important border town due to our proximity with the industrial side of Mexico. I just pray to God that this stops soon; not just for me, but for all the people in the world that are suffering too. Let our prayers be heard.

THE WEEKEND!!!

It's The Weekend ...

So muchto do, so little time, and so much fun to have! These are the plans so far:

1. Have breakfast at IHOP with Dad to celebrate birthday on Friday
2. Pack
3. Go to Tracey's
4. Hopefully go to Tico's with the guys
5. Wake up at 5 a.m. on Saturday
6. Drive to Austin
7. Celebrate Tracey's 21st
8. Have dinner with Tracey's familia
9. Rock the Austin streets
10. Take a tour
11. Keep the Sabbath Holy
12. Go to Lifehouse concert on 4th of July
13. San Marcos
14. Drive back on Tuesday

Phew!!! There is probably a lot more that I left out. Have fun this weekend everybody!!! =)

Everybody Wake Up If U Have Ur Eyes Closed

It has been a million years since I have blogged...
Well, I have been a little busy bumble bee here in the glorious RGV (for all those who don't know... Rio Grande Valley). Ok, so maybe not that glorious all in all, but I have been having a wonderful time back at home with my family and friends. I am so stress relieved right now from everything. There is no school, no work, no drama (*key point: i do not mean drama as in theater. in fact, i miss that the most), no snow, no bubble. Well, you know what i mean. So far all i have been doing is spending time by the pool or by the sea shore which requires a great ability of not doing crap. hehehe I am taking some German classes which are quite nice. I am the only girl in the class. ha! But we are only four students, nonetheless, my ratio is 1 to 3 =). There is no summer fling and I dont think there will be. In fact, i am kind of glad because i dont want some dweeb getting in between my fun time and friends. I have been thinking a lot about what i did this past semester and other than writing my last research paper and doing the two theater productions, there is nothing that i am proud of. My actions, my work, my mentality, they were all poor. And it seems like i was only spending time with certain people in order to numb the pain and feel as if i had some importance to someone in this life. I know it is pathetic and sad, but that was the state of mind i was in. Fortunately, i talked to someone yesterday that helped to clear up some of the clouds in my mind. Maybe next semester i can get to know these people better. i cant promise anything other than to think through more my actions. Well, i got to do some German homework before class. Everyone take care. Miss y'all!!!

We're On A Break

Summer is here and everyone deserves a great and relaxing breaks. I am on a break with the world. Well, mostly, I am on break with my "college" world. I am really happy that I have a division between my college life and my life back at home (maybe because one is New York and the other one is in Texas). So far my vacA has been great. I went to New York City and stayed at my friend's Diana house. I have decided that I must live in New York City for a while before I die. It was amazing!!! I also went to Long Island. I did some mountain biking which was great but unfortunately I wiped out, and now my wrist is sprained. It hurts like a mofo to type. Should I be typing? Oh goodness...I should stop before I hurt myself.

Es ist Sommer!!! Woot!!!

"School is out for the summer"

I am out for the next four months and i am soooo excited. I am in New York right now. Well, not New York technically, but I am in New Jersey with my friend Diana, but we are going into the city on Thursday to rip it apart. I am sooooo stocked. So far everything has been great. Last night I had a blast with peepz at the drama house, unfortunately, I couldn't party that hardy because seeing the procratinator I am, I had to finish packing. I did have a packing helper for awhile, then he fell asleep. hehehe Oh well, there went my help! =) But I took a nap too after I finished packing. Well, we took a nap from around 2 am to a little before 7 am. Sadly, we had to depart ways. (However, I will be visiting Long Island this Friday I believe, so that should be fun)
Today, Diana and I left Rochester for the Great Apple. I am at her house and her family has received so nicely. I am really lucky to have her friends like her that can put up with me. I swear she needs a purple heart or something of that sort. Anyways, I love how both of us are sooo giddy about a topic we share in common in right now: BOYS!!! hehehe It's soo much fun to talk to someone who you can relate to and laugh about your 2nd grader stupid mentallity. (While that was going I got a call from..... to make sure I arrived at New Jersey all right....it was sooo cute *blushing*) Well, people I wish you all a very good summer and I hope you enjoy it. Have a kick-ass time!!!

I Like It Better When I'm On Top

Perverts....
Shame on you for thinking the way you do....
hehehe

I mean, I like myself better when I feel like I am on top of the world. Whenever I am ecstatic, bright eyed, and smiling. Forget the depressing shit that only drags me down. That's the way to go. Even though this is finals week, I still feel pretty good. The weekend completely rocked. Well, Saturday especially. Saturday was closing night for The Puzzle Locker and The Seventh Annual One Act Festival. It was amazing. Both things were jammed packed and I had a blast going from one role to the other in less than 30 minutes. The theater borrowed some of our couches for the one acts and so after the show was over we brought them back to the house. So we are crossing the street, coming out of Todd Union at 1:30 a.m. with 4 couches...it was only a matter of minutes before security came. They didn't want to believe us that the couches belonged to us. So things started to get a little shaky, and the rent-a-cops were getting annoying. They thought we had stolen the couches and were asking to speak to an officer from the house. I told them that I was an officer for next year, but they took my I.D card and started to do a background check. Yes, I am Gaby Jones, master thief of sofas and loveseats. =) Well, at least they came in for that and not the illegal party we were having on the third floor lounge. We are on social probation right now so we can't have any parties. Oooppps!!! But it was the end of the year, end of the shows, and we needed a cast party. Mind you, it was a cast party for The Puzzle Locker and the one acts. OMG, it was insane!!! There was a point in the night were all my boys got, put me in the middle, and made a Gaby-sandwich. hehehe I love my boys!!! Shout out to Trip, Nick, Brian, Jed, Eugene, Nels, Steve D., and anyone that I forgot. lol So, around 3ish I go into Dave Pascoe and Mitch's room and say, "So we definately need to party in the theater with all that dirt!" In about 5 minutes Jeff and I left for the theater to "set up". I didn't do anything I just sat there and watched...hehehe. After a while everyone and their mother came to the theater and we had a party EXTREME!!! We had all the lights from the show and sound system going. It was sooooo cooool. Shhhhh, we are not suppose to tell anyone because Nigel had prohibited us from having a party there in the first place. =) But hey, he warned us about having a party that he knew about, he never mentioned anything about him and not knowing...Bam, a loophole!!! Well, we got out of the theater covered with dirt and Pete Moss (or however you spell it) infested in our lungs. Now, I am coughing and sneezing the most disgusting, blackest boogers of my entire life. Sorry to gross you out. Ah, it doesn't matter anyways because we had a blast. What a way to end the year. (*sigh) Just one more week...



I know exactly where we are.
Where the fuck are we?

Sink beneath the line...

SEXpectations

"If we sleep together would it make it any better?" - Mirah, "La Familia"

I have had this song stuck in my head for the past few days. First of all, it is very catchy. And second, what it says has got me thinking. This is the phrase every guy wants to hear. Guys give you bullshit about not wanting to sleep with them till they make you feel horrible. And of if you "sleep together it [will] make it better"..... for HIM, not for the girl. Now that I am in my twenties I feel the pressure even more so. Sleeping with someone is now an expectation held by many people. Especially if you want a relationship to last for more than two weeks! "You mean I have to sleep with you on the second date just so you can take me out?" What the heck? How did our society go from one extreme to the other? I just don't understand the progression that has happened so suddenly in the last thirty years. It's horrible to feel this pressure when you are going out with a guy. I would not like to think that a guy is only taking me out to a nice dinner and a movie just to make me feel as if I owe him something. "Yeah, if I feed her and entertain her for two hours, she will certainly have to entertain me later. It's only fair. They wanted equality." And yeah, when did equality become the reason for the loss of chivalry, kindness, and manners? Gaining the right to vote does not give you men the permission to treat us like complete assholes. That's why women are more and more vile, fierce, and hostile now towards the opposite sex. We are just protecting ourselves from your ways. And that gives you the incentive to be even worst, and then the whole cycle continues. We both have to stop!!!

So You Can Take That Cookie and Stick It Up....

To make a long story short I am skipping right to the conclusion. I am an IDIOT!!! I am tired of being the one who puts herself on the line. Why can't just for once things go the way I plan. I am so fucking tired of men who have no balls. Yeah, you heard me. No, balls. Because if they did posses any they would let go of all the bullshit against feelings, relationships, girlfriends, etc. Get a fucking clue!!! Do you really think that we girls like your pretenses and your petty impressions you try to make? If we like you is because we see something else besides the cherade, and yet you still keep up with it because letting go of it would signify your vulnerability. I am not a fucking entertainment system. If you want one, get your ass to Best Buy or something like that and purchase one. I am with you because I like spending time with you, not to amuse you. If I wanted to do that, I would join the fucking circus. (Sorry, I know I am saying "fucking" a lot, but it helps to relive some tension) I may not be a clown, but I do know that I am fool because I am always failing mirserably and believing every word anyone says. I guess that's what I get for having a bit of hope in humanity. It's just so unfair that I now have to be skeptic about everyone.

Yeah, that's what I say right now, and I will probably do the opposite. Damn it, I hate myself. I always seem to wrap myself in these vicious cycles that never end. I am through, I am done, I can't do this shit anymore. Go find some other dim-wit to put up with your bullshit because I can't keep up with you anymore.


What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea...
-"Volcano", Damien Rice

Full of Doubt

So, there is this guy that I have been somewhat seeing the past couple of weeks. I like being with him; he makes me laugh and completely understands how much time, effort, and work I have to put into the theater. (This is because he is also involved in the theater, but he works backstage.) I enjoy his company and at times I feel like I don't have to speak in order to fill in the air. There are no ackward moments. However, to all good things there must be a bad side as well. *sigh* I still have doubts whether or not he likes me as much as I like him. I don't know how to explain it. I mean, when I am hanging out with him there is no doubt, but ever so often during my day I stop whatever I am doing, and wonder if he thinks of me just like I think of him. I also have to say that this whole timing thing is terrible. I mean: Come On! Cut me some freakin' slack! Why must this happen just a couple of weeks before school is over. I am not holding him to a full term commitment or anything of that sort, but I would have liked to seen how things might have evolved if this had began earlier. I know we will have next semester, but first, we have to leave for the summer (about 4 months!), come back to school, and start all over again. Well, it seems that way. I don't know, four months in between something that is barely starting or doing I don't know what seems pretty weird. And you might think, "But there is AIM and you have each other's cell phones," that's right, but it will only be for so long. He is going to Russia in July and I might be going to Mexico. So he will come back paler and I will come back darker....hehehe. You have to find the humor in this whole thing I guess. I don't know what will happen. But I am happy right now to have somebody that understands me and I can just hang out with without having to uphold any pretenses. However. there is this little person in the back of my head hitting me with a bat and filling me up with questions.

Doubt seems to be a prevalent theme in my life as I have come to understand. Opening night for the "The Puzzle Locker" is tomorrow night. I have not yet come into agreements with my character. It's ok, but I still don't believe myself. Nigel (my director) still has not said anything to me and I am a bit worried. It's funny, I completely admire the man, but whenever I work with him I get choked up. I can't do anything right. I want to impress him and I find it difficult to do so. With my other directors there isn't that pressure, but Nigel, he is something else. I can't explain it. At times I really think that he just hates the way I act completely. Oh well. Pray for me and if you are in the area go watch it.




He said we can dance tomorrow,
I said we've already danced tonight
Come on baby, it will be all right...
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
All Night...

TECH IS OVER!!! OH SO GLAD.



ALMOST OUT OF HERE...

C'est Moi!!!

Ridin' It

Between gulps of NyQuil, work, classes, and the theater, I am slowly (but surely) killing myself. I am sooo annoyed with myself because it doesn't matter how many hours of sleep I get a night I still feel like crap in the morning. Maybe I should get more sleep during the weekends. I haven't gotten much the past weeks. I found it to be very difficult to be social and studious in college. Why the hell do I have to choose one over the other? I just wish there was more time, or at least that I could have fun in all my classes. So far academically, I have been dissatisfied with this semester, but on the other hand it hasn't been that bad. It's too bad my current situation started so late in the semester, but it's alright. It's not that stressful in retrospect. I just miss riding in the convertible. Can't I just have it??? That's all I want. hehehe It was such a great feeling when I was in co-passenger's seat taking in the view and literally feeling the wind in my face. Yeah, I know it's cheesy, but it was liberating at the same time. I can't think of anything better. Well, yes I can. If I would have been driving it would have been kick-ass. =)

So, I have decided to go to New York City with my friend Diana after the semester is over. She lives outside the city, so I will be staying with her for about a week or so. I am soooo psyched out. Finally!!! I just want to travel this summer, and NYC seems like the perfect city to begin with. Don't worry, I'll bring back gifts for all.


Can't it just be over?



How about this weekend???

There Ya Go

I am not writing this blog entry because I was made to....hehehe

Sam you ROCK my SOCKS!!!

=)

My Poor Pinky

For the past couple of days the weather has been beautiful up here in the R.O.C. It has been a sunny 62degrees (I know that is winter for South Texas), but here that temperature is about 80 degrees above of our normal weather. hehehe Because yesterday was not a day to be sitting inside doing nothing, a bunch of us from the D-House played football outside on the frat-quad. To make a long story short, I hurt myself. I think I sprained my pinky on my left hand. It is maaaaaddddd purple and uber swollen. It looks like it might fall off. lol Ok, maybe not that bad, but it still hurts. So after my injury I decided to retire to the porch of our house and join the others with some Piña Coladas. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was a Wednesday afternoon at 4:30pm and I was already having a drink. Damn!!! It wasn't even happy hour yet. =) Steven and John would be so proud of me. hehehe

Well, other than that I only have to survive school for one more month and then I am out of here. Yay!!!!! I am telling you it has been quite a year, but not as bad as my freshman year. Now, that was hell! I am so psyched out because next year I am finally having a single for mi solita. I am an officer at the Drama House so I get a single. In fact, I am getting one of the biggest singles of the whole house, and maybe even the campus. Ah, I can't wait. Then, I can finally have my cheese and wine party that I have been craving. =) Well, amigos, I'll keep you posted but I gotta split so I can read some stuff before my next class.