Hooray for being back at home!!!

However, I miss everybody

Almost in Germany....

DECEMBER 14TH!!!!!!!

IT'S MY 22ND BIRTHDAY!!!!!
WOOT!!!!!

Oh Come Wednesday...

Guess who is having a Birthday soon????

Yours Truly...

In the wise words of Mr. Mitch Nelson, "Twenty-Two is the age where you must out do all your previous alcohol experiences."
So guess what Mitch and I will be doing this coming Wednesday. hahahaha.

Well, I will be back home on Sunday. Which I am uber excited about cuz that means after that I will be in Deutschland!!! Woot! However, like I have said over and over again I will miss everyone deeply.

Ah, so close

It has been a million years since i have posted anything new, but that's because i have been mad busy with school. I have been studying for finals, but yesterday i finished with my finals. I took all of them yesterday!!!! However, i do have one more art project due on Monday, but that will be a breeze and so much fun! I will go back to home sweet home on the 18th so if you are in the ROC area till then make suere to stop by and say good-bye cuz i won't see you next semeste. I'll be gone. I am going too Deutschland. Woot! I am so excited....

Closer...

Yay, I got another "A" in my Art Class...

i was a bit skeptical at first about this class, but it has turned out to be my favorite class this semester. However, I have one final project due and I feel as if i am hitting a brick wall. We can create/do anything, but i don't know what exactly i want to do. So much to choose from. I right now i seem to be lacking my "muse".... hehehe

I wish i were having this much fun in German class. I love the professor, but the rest is killing me. Ahh!!! Just a couple more days in that class and all will be over with. To be exact I will be finished with my German class the Thursday of the next week. Yay!!!!


Also, I am starting to count down to next semester. I will be in Germany. However, at times I think that I shouldn't go. I love my housemates, the new friends that I have made, and those certain someones that I have shared my last couple of weeks with (shout out to my boys:
My Drunk Asshole, My Hubby, and My President.....X2, x-treme!!! I love you guys.) There is still so much for me here, but i know that there is this huge world awaiting me in a couple of weeks...
The decision will have to be made....

Newly Weds

Yes...
you heard right...

I am a newly wed...well, not exactly.....
I just celebrated my one year anniversary with none other than my ever-faithful blogger. Yay!!!

And what did we do to celebrate....

I went to NYC for the break!!! Ah, it was incredible. It was so much fun that I don't want to go back to school.

Oh well....

Last Night....

Thank you everyone....

last night was lovely,
it was more than what i could have asked for
there is still so much turkey
you should go to the kitchen and grab some more
people laughing
wine being consumed
everyone smiling
the chocoflan amused
from the bohemian feast
to the heart warming flames in the fire place
it was a banquet from heaven none the least
even i had a smile upon my face that could not be erased

Dear Mister......

Ok, so hear is the deal my blog is for people to read it. I am flattered when they leave a comment, but it is not a requisite in order to read my online journal. I don't care if they leave a comment or not. I must confess I do like it when people leave me messages, however, I am not too fond of messages that read, "Nobody has left a comment in a while. Sad, isn't it?" I must say, "What the F***?" No, it's not sad. People just don't want to. I am sorry if I am not Suzy High School or Ms. Popular. Ugh! Really, that is the rudest comment in my blog so far. And if you don't plan to write anything nice, well then I rather have a bare wall with nothing annoying on it. Thank you. Have a nice day!

X-Men 2

I must confess that I have an addiction.....

A big one....


Hahaha. Ladies and Gentlemen I am a dork. Yes, you have heard (or read?) quite right. I LOVE to play
X-Men Legends 2!!!! It is amazing how many hours I have played that game alongside my boys. Yup, I am doing a fine job in procrastinating all my work. Yeah, so much for being a good student this semester. Oh well, I enjoy playing X2.... I think I just enjoy more the fact that I am having such a good time with the boys and how we all get along. Ok, back to the game. I must go Phoenix Force out of here....

Threre's Always a Silver Lining....

Even with all the bad times....
Even with all the worries...
Even with all the stress....
Even when I felt the worst....


Something beautiful blossomed from the ashes....

Thank You...


=)

Autumn

My School's Library


I love the Fall and how everything looks. I love the red, yellow, orange, and brown. I feel at peace walking along the sidewalk and feeling the leaves crunching right below my feet. I love the crisp air that walks along my side. With every step it fortifies me and I feel renewed...

Photoshop

moi



I love playing with Adobe Photoshop....

I totally messed up....

I hate myself....

*sigh*

I am such a fucking douchebag


*sigh*

Zoiks......

Wow ....

definately need to get some sleep ....

running on three hours of it

i did three essays last night

1 in german
the f***ing subjunctive

2 for a scholarship ....
hopefully i'll get it

need to lay down before i collapse
before i die

the eczema is still making itself at home upon my body
i feel so ugly now

so stressed out about bullshit ....
that won't matter in 5 years

these are the times of my life .....
i hope they (fucking) improve,
then it would have been a complete waste

Damn it

So.....


I went to the hospital today


I have eczema


Great!!!


So much for not being stressed out


this sucks.


Does anybody want to take care of me?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE A BIRTHDAY IN OCTOBER!!!!

p.s. Sorry i have not been the best of friends and haven't called or given you a gift. I know I am a bad person and for that I shall suffer the consequences. But please do know that I love y'all with all my heart and hope the best for the years to come.
=)

Bloody Hell.....

Yeah, that's right....
i wish i were british so i could pull off the saying, "Bloody Hell"

Since yesterday i have been in enormous amounts of pain.
My eyelids have over-dried, become swollen, and cracked.
In consequence of the cracking, my eyes bled.
Ok, maybe not my eyes (i am not the virgin Mary or something),
but my eyelids bled.
It has stopped now,
but it still hurts.
I think what makes it worse
is not having anyone next to me in my bed
To take care of me
until the pain goes away.


Ah, so much pain.

=(

Phew!!!

Well, it was a very stressful week, but I got through it and I made it. I don't think I broke down at all. There was the occassional, "I can't take this shit anymore," but other than that I think I did good. This whole new "not giving so much of a damn" attitude is actually working out pretty good. LoL However, just because I am not worrying so much abou things in school, it does not imply that I am throwing away all concerns with the rest of my life. Ah, there is so much to do this weekend, AND Kelly will be visiting which I am really psyched about. Oh, if anybody is reading this that goes to the U of R, go and support Todd Theater by watching Accidental Death of an Anarchist which is on at 8 pm today, Saturday, and next Thursday-Saturday; however, there is something extra special on Sunday's matinee (at 3pm). There will be a special guest in the show (pssst, I'll give you a clue....he is the new president of our school). SO GO AND WATCH IT!!!

A New Moi...

It is time for a change!!! (Don't worry, I am not going punk. This was for the Punk Party of Friday night. However, I did want y'all to see my new hair-do)

So, I have decided it is time for a change in my life. And to start it off I have been doing small little things, like changing this blog, getting a hair cut (which is really riskee), always being open to doing stuff with friends. I have now realized that I am at a pooint in my life in which I have to take in my surroundings and take advantage of them. I am not saying that I going to throw all my worries away, but I will try my very best to remain calm and keep my cool. It's CarpeFUCKINGdiem time!!!

Do a little dance
Make a little love
Get down tonight...

ahhhhhhhh

Things that are really grinding my gears right now...

-i can't fall asleep although last nigh i pulled an ALL-NIGHTER
-had to put up A-frame signs all over the fucking campus
-have to clear all the A-frame signs I put all over campus
-stupid white rich girl that said in class,
"If you work in Wal-Mart, then you don't deserve to get a good wage. "

Idiot....

-trying to keep up with my classes
-not being able to talk to my friends at home
-Professor F. Harris, alongside with the Professors Stone and Gamm
-not being in Germany right now
-not being able to watch a movie and have chinese food along with it
-not having money
-being German-retarded
-having a shit load to do and no time to do it in
-not being able to take a breather
-being stuck in school instead of at the beach
-FACEBOOK and MY SPACE
-knowing that sooner or later (much sooner than you think) i will be joining the previously stated online groups
-not acting this semester (however, i am happy for the 'time off')
-seeing people i don't want to see
-playing nice
-not hearing from you in days....

What a Weekend!!!

Let the pics speak for themselves...

*sigh*
Awesomeness

Cheers!!!

Sean and I rocking out!!!

J-Recht rocking out with ThunderPuss

Sean Celebrating his 20 Years!!!

Me at the German House

Diana and Me....

Jamie and Natalie

ThunderPuss Rocking the Show

"Vindicated"

Oh Yeah!

Dashboard Concert

The Shit has Hit the Fan...

I have said time, and time, and time again.....

Mess with me all you want; I don't mind.
But harm my loved ones in any way,
and you will pray to God
to keep you out of my sight.

This isn't a warning, nor a threat.
It's a fact.

Have a nice day!

Recaps

I really feel like punching guys in the balls at times. They can be soooo disgustingly rude and think that the whole world revolves around them. Ugh!!!

On another note, I must say that I am very happy and relieved that the hurrican Rita did not hit the part of Texas where my family lives. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you are at), Rita hit the very eastern part of Texas and then went straight to Louisiana once again. I feel bad for those people, but as somebody told me, "Well, at least it hit a devastated area instead of ruining another one."

Ah, yesterday evening was so perfect. Mitch, Carol, Jonathan W., Nick, and I hanged out. I cooked some zitti with chicken, basil, alfredo sauce, and brocoli for them. Carol made some garlic bread and a wonderful salad. We all had some red wine. Ihate giving myself props, but this dinner was damn good!!! I enjoyed so much sitting there with them, and chatting away. It felt like family. After that we went upstairs, chatted a little bit longer, and decided that Nick and Mitch should shave all their hair off. Abbi shaved Nick's and I shaved Mitch's. They look soooo hot. =) We later watched X-Men 2 which I had never seen before. Ah, it kicks so much ass; and Hugh Jackman as Wolverine...hmmmm!!! It was great! We finished the evening dancing in the party that was going on in our house's main room.

Today I actually went to the Dryden Theater at Eastman and saw Don Hertzfeldt and all his movies. He was actually there, presenting his films, in person, live, amazing!!! He was so awesome and the short films were hilarious. It's just how I like them; they were very dark humored, cynical, sarcastic, and just a whole critic on today's consumer driven lives. Follow the link and check out his website to learn more about Don and his short films.
http://www.bitterfilms.com

Balloons...

Me in a sea of balloons in Nick's room...

So, my friend Nick had a surgery yesterday, and a couple of us in the Drama House wanted to do a little something just to tell him "Get Well Soon," and "We Missed You". We ended up filling his entire room with balloons. I think I am still a bit drained and light-headed from the whole thing. We blew up 188 balloons (however, three of them popped)!!! It was exhausting, but well worthwhile.

Is this the Answer?

My friend showed me this last night. I was a bit shocked. Is it too extreme or is it the answer to a lot of women's fears and prayers? Follow the link, check it out, post a comment on my blogger. What do you think?

RAPEX

Where has SHE gone?

I am utterly and disgustingly disappointed with myself. When did I start caring about having a boy by my side? When did I throw in the towel and say to myself, "You NEED a man by your side just so you can feel like you are worth something,"? I mean, are we women so desperate for attention that we are willing to sacrifice our dignity just for some asshole with an ego-trip can treat us like crap? I am starting to believe that women do give and care a lot more than men do. We actually put thought into our relationships. I know men do, too, but over 90% of their thinking is done by their penises. Yeah, I said it, so shoot me! I want to know what happened to that fearless girl in high school who promised herself that she would never let a guy control her life or take over it? What happened to that independent woman who did not need a man to justify her self-worth? I did not need anybody when I was in high school. Yes, it might be a little bit naive of myself not to notice the differences between high school and college, but it seems to me that most of the boys in college are still stuck in a high school mentality. I am not asking for the pep rallies, Friday night football games, nor for the A&F crew to come back. I just want that strength that I felt during that time to be within me once again. Where is she? Come back to me....


I want you back
I want you back
I understand when they say
High School never ends....
-Smile Lines, Incubus

Ol' Skool Brandy

Sittin' Up in My Room

Seems like ever since
The first day we met
There is no one else I think of more than you
I can't seem to forget
Can't get you out my head
Cause the verdicts in
I'm crazy over you
How can one be down?
Tell me where to start
Cause every time you smile I feel tremors in my heart
I have but one concern
How can I get with you?
Till my day comes here's what I'm gonna do.

Be sittin up in my room
Back here thinking 'bout you
I must confess I'm a mess for you

Pray that you'll invest
In my happiness
All it takes is just one simple call from you
Turn my heart around
If I'm making ground
Pretty baby please tell me if
I'm getting through
Tell me what is up
You see I need to know
Tell if I'm far or if I'm getting close
I have but one concern
And one concern is you
Till I'm with you here's what I'm gonna do

Be sittin up in my room
Back here thinking 'bout you
I must confess I'm a mess for you

The Clarks played at our Yellow Jacket Days mini-carnival (last weekend).

Lacking...

Once again, I find myself postponing all of my work. Ugh, I said I wasn't going to do this anymore!!! I can't seem to be motivated for more than 5 days. Even with this study abroad thing. I just got my whole acceptance packet yesterday, and now I am thinking to myself, "Ah, so much paperwork to fill out." I am getting a bit worried as well about it. I don't know if my scholarship will cover that. If it doesn't then I am screwed. I won't be able to go to Germany (well, that's if I do all my work for it as well). Going back to Germany should be motivation enough for me to jump on top of all this. I must have some mental illness called, "Putsalotofobstaclesinherwayonpurpose," or, "Yougiveadamnforonly5minutes."
On another note, yesterday was my sister's 19th birthday. I wished I could have been there with her to celebrate, but I do know that I am going to try my very best to visit her this October in Miami. I called her to her NEW cell phone she got for her birthday. She was so ecstatic. I even got to talk to her new boyfriend. He is so cute and perfect for her. And I heard he is a wonderful cook. I believe his name is Mario and is a pre-med major at Panam. My sister knows how to pick them out!!! hehehe Happy Birthday Sis! I love you!

This last point is totally irrelevant, but I must say it: I LOVE MY NEW WIRELESS KEYBOARD AND MOUSE!!! About time that I got an upgrade of some sort. I am actually typing right now from my bed. Isn't that incredible!!! hehehe I would totally recommend getting one.

Ich bin aleine...
Sagen mir
Warum bist du nicht bei mir

Missing you badly....

=(

The Boyz Are Back in Town!!!

These are my favorite boys at Mi Casa...aren't they so adorable??? Oh, the fun you can have with a digital camera. (From left to right: Sean, Mitch, J. Wetherbee, Nick)

Uh-Huh!!!

Well, it has been a very busy week. There is soooo much to do and I don't have enough time to do it in. At least, I am not stressed out (yet!!!). There has just been good news pouring in the last couple of days. I went back to my job with the gals and they will finally be increasing my payroll. Also, I just received today acceptance to the study abroad program I will be doing next January in GERMANY if I may add. Yupee!!! I can't wait to go back, see everyone, and travel all around. I think I should just become a citizen of the European Union. Or better than that, a citizen of the WORLD. Ah, so much I want to do, so much I want to see, so many people I want to meet (and one particular that I would like to meet at die Lappan). Who knows what will happen? This is just a great start to the fall semester and I don't want this high to fall.....


Wind me up
Put me down
Start me off and
watch me go
I'll be running circles around you
sooner than you know

Rochester, Take 3

Well, I have been back at Rochester for exactly a week now, and I have done so many things. I can't believe everything that has happened. Here is a list, because explaining everything in full detail would be insane.
1. moved in and decorated my awesome SINGLE room
2. said hello to all my friends
3. spend countless hours with my Cocowina
4. made pasta with Nick
5. worked on orientation stuff
6. met a million freshmen
7. went to the 24hr play festival and improv shows
8. saw Nigel Maister, Master of Fine Arts =)
9. went to Eastman and Java's
10. saw some ex-classmates of mine
11. have had endless amounts of pizza
12. have spent over $100 from my declining credit
13. partied extreme every night on the frat quad
14. watched Moulin Rouge and had cookies
15. hanged out with a guy named Cheese in front of D.U.
16. saw and got very excited about 2 Scottish boys w/ Katie D.
17. talked to Katie F. and Nadine
18. applied to Java's cafe
19. found 10 beers in my fridge (i have no idea how they got there)
20. missing my family and my friends
21. went to Wegman's
22. bought books and some funky socks
23. made (and currently still making) fun of freshmen

Well, there is actually a lot more, but that is just a little glimpse of things. I start classes this coming Thursday. We'll see how that goes. In the meantime, stay classy!!!

Just the 7!!!

Ah, today was one of the those days in which i love to live for. The original seven finally reunited without any outsiders or worries. Yes people, you heard it right. John, Jonathan, Rick, Steven, Tracey, Terri, and I were back together for one unforgettable day. Jonathan invited us to his ranch that is located close to Rio Grande City. *sigh* It was like old times. We all had some nice cold drinks, some barbequed deer, and just a heck of time. You can say our little outing was a bit on the stereotypical side of waaaayyyyy Texan, but i don't mind. I am a freakin' Texan and if anyone has a problem with it, then deal with it....hehehehe Damn! I am getting all cowboy up on y'alls asses. =) I am soo sad that the summer is ending so quickly, but i couldn't be happier than with this conclusion to a wonderful summer. Of course tomorrow night, we will have the traditional goodbye late dinner at I.H.O.P. I don't want to cry tomorrow. However, I am excited to get back to the ROC and fix my single, and of course to see all my friends. Oh, before i forget major congrats to my best friend Tracey for obtaining her great score on the DAT!!! Next summer she will be in San Antonio to become a dentist. Yay, free dental care for me!!! hehehe I mean...ugh, hahaha Trace, I am so proud of you. You did it! Well, peepz in a couple of days a whole new chapter in my life and in my friends' life is about to begin, I can only welcome it with open arms. "This is the dawning of the rest of our lives" - Greenday

Freaking Stock Market

My life is so pathetic that I get stock advertisements on my freaking comments in my blog. Let me tell you; you have to be quite a loser to get those kinds of ads in your online diary. *sigh* Well, it seems that my problems will never get resolved. I have boy issues, confidence issues, school issues, work issues, responsibility issues, and to add on to the list, I have issues at home as well. I don't want to talk about it much online or then I would probably get lendingtree.com on my comments list as well. (I think you can guess what's going with that little statement.) I don't have anymore strength to fight this. I feel that my family and I are barely surviving. My mother is not giving up without a fight. God only knows the miracle she has done around the house in order to give her family the best in her power. I just wish that at times this wouldn't revolve around that green venom that we all long for. I want to close my eyes until all of this goes away..... maybe even longer. Once again, I long for that time of innocence and content, of sunday dresses and ice cream sundaes, of tranquility and joy. In the great words of the infamous Rolling Stones, "I can't get nooooo.....SATISFACTION," in all the sense, ways and meanings of the word. Hahahahahaha, you could say that I am waiting for my life to give me an orgasm. A very huge orgasm. =) What is so difficult about this, is that I know I can't just wait, I have to do something about it. But how can one improve their situation if they don't have anything to start with? Even Johnny Appleseed had one apple to begin his fruitful journey across the land. *1,2,3, sigh*

No solo de pan vive el hombre
-Shakira, La Tortura

Babies, Engagements, & Weddings...

So as the title states in my life there has been babies, engagements, and weddings. Don't worry none of the those are of mine property...yet (in the far far far future) But lately it seem like everyone around me has been living this experience of a lifetime that includes some type of overwhelming responisibility, but filled with love. I am not saying that I want this all of this, just a part of it. I think you know which part of the bargain I desire, and I can totally say it does not include a newborn or a diamond ring. I was at Barnes & Noble today. I was listening to a couple of CDs, and I came upon Dane Cook's new cd "Retaliation". Dane Cook is a comedian that thanks to my friend Diana I am now addicted to. Anyways, I was listening to part of his stand-up routine when all of the sudden he starts hitting the wound. He says, "And what the heck is up with love. It seems that when you are out of it or lacking it, the whole world is in love, even that bitch Megan who nobody likes has someone to give her TLC." And you know what, it is f***ing true!!! Yes, people I used the "f" word and three exclamation points. So I was driving back from Barnes and this song tittled "Entra a mi Vida" or in other words "Enter my life" by Sin Banderas. The words reminded me of something that happened in my world a long time ago...maybe one day it will repeat itself. But for know I will leave part of the song translated for you viewing pleasure.

"Enter my Life" Good evening. It's a pleasure. You were only another girl, but after 5 minutes you were somebody special. Without speaking, without touching me a fire turned on inside of me. I lost myself in your eyes as I didn't notice the time pass by. These days by your side have taught me that there is never a specific time to start loving someone. I feel something so deep that it has no explanation, no logical reason in my heart. Enter my life. I am opening the door. I know that in your amrs there won't be anymore nights of solitude. Enter my life. I am begging you. I started by missing you but then I started needing you. Good evening. It's a pleasure. Nobody else exists except for me and you....

More Rambling

There is nothing like going to H-E-B, buying a couple of Seagram's four-packs, sitting outside with your best gal friend underneath the Texan night skies, and chit-chatting the night away. Like always Tracey and I are disillusioned with the male species. Is it so hard to find a kind man (not a boy) who is willing to hold his girlfriend close during the times when she feels that her world is falling apart, who will be the first and the last call of her day, who will be there to cuddle with her during those stormy days, who will do anything to make her laugh, and who will not stop at anything just to make her smile? Maybe I had my chance, maybe I took it, and maybe I let it slip out of my hands. Isn't it funny how us humans are never satisfied? I mean, I think I once had this and I was too afraid to realize how good I had it? Why was I afraid of something that I have been wanting and desiring with all my heart? The only answer I can think of is the factor of stupidity and ignorance. Maybe to get this back, I have to let it come back to me. I will await with great patience. In the meantime, I have to re-focus on the rest of my life because if I don't keep track of it I will have nothing to offer him when he arrives. I am not only doing this for him or for the idea of a "him", I am doing this for myself. Someway or another I have to keep on going, perhaps alone at this moment in time. I must regain force, determination, and passion for this coming year of college which is going to put quite a landmark on my life. It can be either good or bad; it's up to me. I have to get over the fact that once again I will do another school year alone. I have my friends, but I need someone. Sunday morning, rain is falling and I'm calling out to you Singing someday it'll bring me back to you Find a way to bring myself back home to you

Seth Won!!!

I am such a loser, but i don't really care. So one of my few pleassures this summer has been the show "Kept" on VH1. It is with Jerry Hall who is Mick Jagger (The Rolling Stones front man) ex and is filthy rich. She practically just wants a boy-toy and so she can choose one "Kept Man" from the twelve participants. Each week one guy gets eliminated. It has been going on for a couple of weeks and this week's episode had the final two contestants. It came down to Austen and Seth (my favorite). And yes, you guessed it, Seth won!!! Which totally proves that personality is worth a whole lot more than looks to a girl. So now my show is over and i won't have anything to do Thursday nights from 8-9. *sigh*

I still feel pretty shitty. It seems that the more try, the more i fail. Don't you just wish you could just reverse time and go back to that day and age where you didn't have to worry if your socks matched or about that exam that is going to rule the rest of your life? Why do i have to worry about some stupid mathematic equation that i am never going to use the rest of my life? I mean really, will there ever be a day in my life that i am going to be at a bus stop and using the quadriatic equationto figure out when the next bus will come? Why do i have to worry ?


She screams in silence...

=(

So I messed up one of the few good things I had left in my life. I said some things or maybe it was the fact that I kept some things to myself. All I can say is that I thought I had something secure, something that I could come back to, but maybe it was my fault because I thought I had this in the backburner and could bring it back into my life. It was my fault for not taking care of it. Unfortunately, I have to know when to let it go. But it hurts me so deeply. I want to cry, but I can't let go again because letting go would be giving up. I don't want to give up or maybe part of keeping on the fight is to know when to wave the white flag.

Just Listen...

Ok, so what the "F" ? First, we are not talking for like a period of six months and as soon as I am starting to put your memory away, you show up with a phone call, or an e-mail, or a letter. And that is absolutely fine because I love that we can talk about anything and laugh, and act as if we have only been apart for a mere five minutes. But then comes a two weeks time and it all stops suddenly. Once again, I am left with my heart on the sleeve and it seems that you don't even care. You just wanted to make sure that you still had me wrapped around your little finger. Please don't let me keep on believing this. I want to think that you are better. I want to be assured that not all men are assholes. Restore my faith in your kind and give me a little hope. You know and I know that there is still something there. Why are you trying to ignore it? Why am I ignoring it as well? I don't know. All I know is that this constant feeling of solitude disappears everytime I hear your voice. Maybe I said too much, but I said it. The ball is on your side of the court now. The next move is up to you. You decide..... Una puerta azul, nunca hay que abrirla las pezadilla son muy largas

Woot Woot

I am back from Waco people!!! In one weekend I drove over 1,000 miles. Anyways, mad props to my lil' bro for doing so well in his swimming competitions. Let me just brag and say, MY LIL' BRO IS ONE OF THE TOP 15 SWIMMERS OF HIS AGE GROUP IN TEXAS. Yay! Awesome job EdWIN!!! Keep rocking

I am with you...

Emily...what a Biaaatch!!!

Well people this could very well my lost blog entry for a long while. There is a possibility that Hurricane Emily might come straight towards my home. Ok, maybe not my home technically, but it might come to the Rio Grande Valley. These past days we've had a couple of isolated showers which have not been that silent if i may add. Everybody please keep my sweet old Texas in your prayers and hope that big bad Biatch of a Hurricane will change its mind and hit Louisiana or some hick place like that. Oh, also please keep in your prayers that all the people of beautiful Cancun, Mexico are well. The hurricane is hitting there tonight. Thanks Y'all!!!

Crossroads

Is it so horrible for me to really be missing my life back at Rochester even though i am here at home with my family and friends? I know i needed a break from the hectic life i left behind, but there are times where i just feel so out of place here in Texas. I just wish i could combine both of my worlds together. I love being at home and getting to be with my family, but there times where i wish i could go out and just hang out with a couple of people who are my age. Don't get me wrong i have my friends (and of course my bf) here at home, but all of them, individually, have created their own life sort to speak here in the valley. Each of them have their own thing to do, their own little groups of friends, and so on so forth...i guess you can say i feel like a third wheel. I mean what can I do in the short period i am here. I would hate to make new friends just so i can say goodbye to them in a short time. There aren't any jobs here that i would like to do. And lastly, there really isn't that much great theater that i could get my hands into. I miss it....maybe it's just me getting restless. However, there is one big down side to going back to the R.O.C., the amount of work i have to do for all of my classes, and this upcoming semester is no exception either. Like my friend Diana said, I wanna go back to the social life i had at Rochester, not the work. I couldn't agree more. But thinking about it, I am not really sure if i want to go back to all the problems and the small campus that the university has (there are only about 4,000 students at Rochester which can get a bit annoying at times). I want to go back to the age of 18, just graduated from high school and about to embark on a journey of lifetime. I think what i really want to do is go back to Europe. I beg you not to think of me as being "posh," but i really do miss it. I was on my own, and i didn't have to worry about all the known people in my life. I was a blank page waiting to be filled with memories and new faces. I want to go back to the moment of time when i believed that good things could happen. A time when a million words could be spoken all through the eyes. Oh, how you read my eyes... I need a break. I need a rest. I need to stop.

Wo werde ich gehen?

(Bitter)Sweet Fantansy

Oh my goodness, everywhere i go i am hearing this freaking song!!! Ok, Mariah Carey, i get the point and i am killing myself for it. What can i say, i agree!!! Ok, you got it out of me, but please stop playing that song. It's like that y'all....

Ok, so it's not the song that i just referred to, but it is a song off of her latest cd. You guessed it; it's "We Belong Together" I get it. Just don't throw it in my face. Every time i hear it i feel just a little bit more guiltier than the time before. Mariah, just leave me alone!!! hehehe Well, once again life and all its coincidences make me laugh. But just for kicks, here are some of the lyrics from the song. Enjoy!

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everythingI never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby(We belong together)

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better


Ok, Mariah, I get it....

ich vermiss dich...

The World is F***ed Up!!!

Well I had an amazing time at Austin with Tracey. We went to the Lifehouse concert and saw the love of my life ....JASON WADE!!! 1,2,3 *sigh* Like always he looked beautiful and sang beautifully as well. *sigh* I think he is the only guy around my age that is not a complete jerk if I am wrong about that i don't want to be right. He was sooo great (also Rick and Bryce). All three band members were so nice and funny when we talked to them and acted if we went way back....hehehe
Besides that, the world is f'ed up as my title so nicely puts it. When i woke up yesterday i could not believe the news about London. I mean, how the hell can some people bring devastation and sadness to the lives of so many? My friend Amanda wrote me an e-mail saying how sad she was to hear what had happened, especially because her and I had spent about 2 weeks in London just a couple of months ago. We both fell in love with the city and grew some type of love and ownership for it. It saddens me that it has come down to the point that we cannot trust anybody and that we must always be vigilant whenever we go out into the streets, especially in larger cities. But are really small towns like mine safe from all this chaos? I even get scared at times that something might happen at my home because we are a very important border town due to our proximity with the industrial side of Mexico. I just pray to God that this stops soon; not just for me, but for all the people in the world that are suffering too. Let our prayers be heard.

THE WEEKEND!!!

It's The Weekend ...

So muchto do, so little time, and so much fun to have! These are the plans so far:

1. Have breakfast at IHOP with Dad to celebrate birthday on Friday
2. Pack
3. Go to Tracey's
4. Hopefully go to Tico's with the guys
5. Wake up at 5 a.m. on Saturday
6. Drive to Austin
7. Celebrate Tracey's 21st
8. Have dinner with Tracey's familia
9. Rock the Austin streets
10. Take a tour
11. Keep the Sabbath Holy
12. Go to Lifehouse concert on 4th of July
13. San Marcos
14. Drive back on Tuesday

Phew!!! There is probably a lot more that I left out. Have fun this weekend everybody!!! =)

Everybody Wake Up If U Have Ur Eyes Closed

It has been a million years since I have blogged...
Well, I have been a little busy bumble bee here in the glorious RGV (for all those who don't know... Rio Grande Valley). Ok, so maybe not that glorious all in all, but I have been having a wonderful time back at home with my family and friends. I am so stress relieved right now from everything. There is no school, no work, no drama (*key point: i do not mean drama as in theater. in fact, i miss that the most), no snow, no bubble. Well, you know what i mean. So far all i have been doing is spending time by the pool or by the sea shore which requires a great ability of not doing crap. hehehe I am taking some German classes which are quite nice. I am the only girl in the class. ha! But we are only four students, nonetheless, my ratio is 1 to 3 =). There is no summer fling and I dont think there will be. In fact, i am kind of glad because i dont want some dweeb getting in between my fun time and friends. I have been thinking a lot about what i did this past semester and other than writing my last research paper and doing the two theater productions, there is nothing that i am proud of. My actions, my work, my mentality, they were all poor. And it seems like i was only spending time with certain people in order to numb the pain and feel as if i had some importance to someone in this life. I know it is pathetic and sad, but that was the state of mind i was in. Fortunately, i talked to someone yesterday that helped to clear up some of the clouds in my mind. Maybe next semester i can get to know these people better. i cant promise anything other than to think through more my actions. Well, i got to do some German homework before class. Everyone take care. Miss y'all!!!

We're On A Break

Summer is here and everyone deserves a great and relaxing breaks. I am on a break with the world. Well, mostly, I am on break with my "college" world. I am really happy that I have a division between my college life and my life back at home (maybe because one is New York and the other one is in Texas). So far my vacA has been great. I went to New York City and stayed at my friend's Diana house. I have decided that I must live in New York City for a while before I die. It was amazing!!! I also went to Long Island. I did some mountain biking which was great but unfortunately I wiped out, and now my wrist is sprained. It hurts like a mofo to type. Should I be typing? Oh goodness...I should stop before I hurt myself.

Es ist Sommer!!! Woot!!!

"School is out for the summer"

I am out for the next four months and i am soooo excited. I am in New York right now. Well, not New York technically, but I am in New Jersey with my friend Diana, but we are going into the city on Thursday to rip it apart. I am sooooo stocked. So far everything has been great. Last night I had a blast with peepz at the drama house, unfortunately, I couldn't party that hardy because seeing the procratinator I am, I had to finish packing. I did have a packing helper for awhile, then he fell asleep. hehehe Oh well, there went my help! =) But I took a nap too after I finished packing. Well, we took a nap from around 2 am to a little before 7 am. Sadly, we had to depart ways. (However, I will be visiting Long Island this Friday I believe, so that should be fun)
Today, Diana and I left Rochester for the Great Apple. I am at her house and her family has received so nicely. I am really lucky to have her friends like her that can put up with me. I swear she needs a purple heart or something of that sort. Anyways, I love how both of us are sooo giddy about a topic we share in common in right now: BOYS!!! hehehe It's soo much fun to talk to someone who you can relate to and laugh about your 2nd grader stupid mentallity. (While that was going I got a call from..... to make sure I arrived at New Jersey all right....it was sooo cute *blushing*) Well, people I wish you all a very good summer and I hope you enjoy it. Have a kick-ass time!!!

I Like It Better When I'm On Top

Perverts....
Shame on you for thinking the way you do....
hehehe

I mean, I like myself better when I feel like I am on top of the world. Whenever I am ecstatic, bright eyed, and smiling. Forget the depressing shit that only drags me down. That's the way to go. Even though this is finals week, I still feel pretty good. The weekend completely rocked. Well, Saturday especially. Saturday was closing night for The Puzzle Locker and The Seventh Annual One Act Festival. It was amazing. Both things were jammed packed and I had a blast going from one role to the other in less than 30 minutes. The theater borrowed some of our couches for the one acts and so after the show was over we brought them back to the house. So we are crossing the street, coming out of Todd Union at 1:30 a.m. with 4 couches...it was only a matter of minutes before security came. They didn't want to believe us that the couches belonged to us. So things started to get a little shaky, and the rent-a-cops were getting annoying. They thought we had stolen the couches and were asking to speak to an officer from the house. I told them that I was an officer for next year, but they took my I.D card and started to do a background check. Yes, I am Gaby Jones, master thief of sofas and loveseats. =) Well, at least they came in for that and not the illegal party we were having on the third floor lounge. We are on social probation right now so we can't have any parties. Oooppps!!! But it was the end of the year, end of the shows, and we needed a cast party. Mind you, it was a cast party for The Puzzle Locker and the one acts. OMG, it was insane!!! There was a point in the night were all my boys got, put me in the middle, and made a Gaby-sandwich. hehehe I love my boys!!! Shout out to Trip, Nick, Brian, Jed, Eugene, Nels, Steve D., and anyone that I forgot. lol So, around 3ish I go into Dave Pascoe and Mitch's room and say, "So we definately need to party in the theater with all that dirt!" In about 5 minutes Jeff and I left for the theater to "set up". I didn't do anything I just sat there and watched...hehehe. After a while everyone and their mother came to the theater and we had a party EXTREME!!! We had all the lights from the show and sound system going. It was sooooo cooool. Shhhhh, we are not suppose to tell anyone because Nigel had prohibited us from having a party there in the first place. =) But hey, he warned us about having a party that he knew about, he never mentioned anything about him and not knowing...Bam, a loophole!!! Well, we got out of the theater covered with dirt and Pete Moss (or however you spell it) infested in our lungs. Now, I am coughing and sneezing the most disgusting, blackest boogers of my entire life. Sorry to gross you out. Ah, it doesn't matter anyways because we had a blast. What a way to end the year. (*sigh) Just one more week...



I know exactly where we are.
Where the fuck are we?

Sink beneath the line...

SEXpectations

"If we sleep together would it make it any better?" - Mirah, "La Familia"

I have had this song stuck in my head for the past few days. First of all, it is very catchy. And second, what it says has got me thinking. This is the phrase every guy wants to hear. Guys give you bullshit about not wanting to sleep with them till they make you feel horrible. And of if you "sleep together it [will] make it better"..... for HIM, not for the girl. Now that I am in my twenties I feel the pressure even more so. Sleeping with someone is now an expectation held by many people. Especially if you want a relationship to last for more than two weeks! "You mean I have to sleep with you on the second date just so you can take me out?" What the heck? How did our society go from one extreme to the other? I just don't understand the progression that has happened so suddenly in the last thirty years. It's horrible to feel this pressure when you are going out with a guy. I would not like to think that a guy is only taking me out to a nice dinner and a movie just to make me feel as if I owe him something. "Yeah, if I feed her and entertain her for two hours, she will certainly have to entertain me later. It's only fair. They wanted equality." And yeah, when did equality become the reason for the loss of chivalry, kindness, and manners? Gaining the right to vote does not give you men the permission to treat us like complete assholes. That's why women are more and more vile, fierce, and hostile now towards the opposite sex. We are just protecting ourselves from your ways. And that gives you the incentive to be even worst, and then the whole cycle continues. We both have to stop!!!

So You Can Take That Cookie and Stick It Up....

To make a long story short I am skipping right to the conclusion. I am an IDIOT!!! I am tired of being the one who puts herself on the line. Why can't just for once things go the way I plan. I am so fucking tired of men who have no balls. Yeah, you heard me. No, balls. Because if they did posses any they would let go of all the bullshit against feelings, relationships, girlfriends, etc. Get a fucking clue!!! Do you really think that we girls like your pretenses and your petty impressions you try to make? If we like you is because we see something else besides the cherade, and yet you still keep up with it because letting go of it would signify your vulnerability. I am not a fucking entertainment system. If you want one, get your ass to Best Buy or something like that and purchase one. I am with you because I like spending time with you, not to amuse you. If I wanted to do that, I would join the fucking circus. (Sorry, I know I am saying "fucking" a lot, but it helps to relive some tension) I may not be a clown, but I do know that I am fool because I am always failing mirserably and believing every word anyone says. I guess that's what I get for having a bit of hope in humanity. It's just so unfair that I now have to be skeptic about everyone.

Yeah, that's what I say right now, and I will probably do the opposite. Damn it, I hate myself. I always seem to wrap myself in these vicious cycles that never end. I am through, I am done, I can't do this shit anymore. Go find some other dim-wit to put up with your bullshit because I can't keep up with you anymore.


What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea...
-"Volcano", Damien Rice

Full of Doubt

So, there is this guy that I have been somewhat seeing the past couple of weeks. I like being with him; he makes me laugh and completely understands how much time, effort, and work I have to put into the theater. (This is because he is also involved in the theater, but he works backstage.) I enjoy his company and at times I feel like I don't have to speak in order to fill in the air. There are no ackward moments. However, to all good things there must be a bad side as well. *sigh* I still have doubts whether or not he likes me as much as I like him. I don't know how to explain it. I mean, when I am hanging out with him there is no doubt, but ever so often during my day I stop whatever I am doing, and wonder if he thinks of me just like I think of him. I also have to say that this whole timing thing is terrible. I mean: Come On! Cut me some freakin' slack! Why must this happen just a couple of weeks before school is over. I am not holding him to a full term commitment or anything of that sort, but I would have liked to seen how things might have evolved if this had began earlier. I know we will have next semester, but first, we have to leave for the summer (about 4 months!), come back to school, and start all over again. Well, it seems that way. I don't know, four months in between something that is barely starting or doing I don't know what seems pretty weird. And you might think, "But there is AIM and you have each other's cell phones," that's right, but it will only be for so long. He is going to Russia in July and I might be going to Mexico. So he will come back paler and I will come back darker....hehehe. You have to find the humor in this whole thing I guess. I don't know what will happen. But I am happy right now to have somebody that understands me and I can just hang out with without having to uphold any pretenses. However. there is this little person in the back of my head hitting me with a bat and filling me up with questions.

Doubt seems to be a prevalent theme in my life as I have come to understand. Opening night for the "The Puzzle Locker" is tomorrow night. I have not yet come into agreements with my character. It's ok, but I still don't believe myself. Nigel (my director) still has not said anything to me and I am a bit worried. It's funny, I completely admire the man, but whenever I work with him I get choked up. I can't do anything right. I want to impress him and I find it difficult to do so. With my other directors there isn't that pressure, but Nigel, he is something else. I can't explain it. At times I really think that he just hates the way I act completely. Oh well. Pray for me and if you are in the area go watch it.




He said we can dance tomorrow,
I said we've already danced tonight
Come on baby, it will be all right...
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
And we danced, and danced, and danced, and danced, and danced
All Night...

TECH IS OVER!!! OH SO GLAD.



ALMOST OUT OF HERE...

C'est Moi!!!

Ridin' It

Between gulps of NyQuil, work, classes, and the theater, I am slowly (but surely) killing myself. I am sooo annoyed with myself because it doesn't matter how many hours of sleep I get a night I still feel like crap in the morning. Maybe I should get more sleep during the weekends. I haven't gotten much the past weeks. I found it to be very difficult to be social and studious in college. Why the hell do I have to choose one over the other? I just wish there was more time, or at least that I could have fun in all my classes. So far academically, I have been dissatisfied with this semester, but on the other hand it hasn't been that bad. It's too bad my current situation started so late in the semester, but it's alright. It's not that stressful in retrospect. I just miss riding in the convertible. Can't I just have it??? That's all I want. hehehe It was such a great feeling when I was in co-passenger's seat taking in the view and literally feeling the wind in my face. Yeah, I know it's cheesy, but it was liberating at the same time. I can't think of anything better. Well, yes I can. If I would have been driving it would have been kick-ass. =)

So, I have decided to go to New York City with my friend Diana after the semester is over. She lives outside the city, so I will be staying with her for about a week or so. I am soooo psyched out. Finally!!! I just want to travel this summer, and NYC seems like the perfect city to begin with. Don't worry, I'll bring back gifts for all.


Can't it just be over?



How about this weekend???

There Ya Go

I am not writing this blog entry because I was made to....hehehe

Sam you ROCK my SOCKS!!!

=)

My Poor Pinky

For the past couple of days the weather has been beautiful up here in the R.O.C. It has been a sunny 62degrees (I know that is winter for South Texas), but here that temperature is about 80 degrees above of our normal weather. hehehe Because yesterday was not a day to be sitting inside doing nothing, a bunch of us from the D-House played football outside on the frat-quad. To make a long story short, I hurt myself. I think I sprained my pinky on my left hand. It is maaaaaddddd purple and uber swollen. It looks like it might fall off. lol Ok, maybe not that bad, but it still hurts. So after my injury I decided to retire to the porch of our house and join the others with some Piña Coladas. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was a Wednesday afternoon at 4:30pm and I was already having a drink. Damn!!! It wasn't even happy hour yet. =) Steven and John would be so proud of me. hehehe

Well, other than that I only have to survive school for one more month and then I am out of here. Yay!!!!! I am telling you it has been quite a year, but not as bad as my freshman year. Now, that was hell! I am so psyched out because next year I am finally having a single for mi solita. I am an officer at the Drama House so I get a single. In fact, I am getting one of the biggest singles of the whole house, and maybe even the campus. Ah, I can't wait. Then, I can finally have my cheese and wine party that I have been craving. =) Well, amigos, I'll keep you posted but I gotta split so I can read some stuff before my next class.

25th and 26th of März

Well, I literary have not written in this thing in ages. I just put the last post up so I wouldn't look lame. A lot of things have been going on, nothing major though. Hmmm, let's see so last Friday night Kelly, Chris Justus, Jim, and I decided to paint the tunnels. Well, a tunnel (we have a tunnel here in school that anyone can paint and promote events and etc.). The KD sorority pledged painted all over with dumb little messages that said, "Dear Big, I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Love, Ditzy." It's pathetic. Everyone knows it is, but nobody has ever done anything about it. Why the hell would you put up on a pedestal some dumb girl who you pay their organization about $400/semester? I just don't get it. So, us four took it upon us to make a difference and let the tunnel gain its freedom. You can say it was vandalization, graffitti, or art. It doesn't matter it made a statement. A very RAW statement which I don't think I will get into much detail about. For a whole weekend the tunnel shined and I was secretly engulfing myself with the praises people were giving to our manifestatioin. Unfortunately, another sorority has already covered it up. We shall see about that...

Saturday night was wicked fun. Patty, Kelly, and I went to this oriental restaurant named The King and I where we saw Ryn and Dave C on their first date (oh so cute! PuKe!!! hehehe) . After that Patty dropped us off at the Dryden Theater in the Eastman House where we watched this 1950s film called Harvey starring Jimmy Stewart. It was great. I have forgotten how good and therapeutic it is to laugh at nice innocent humor; I felt like a little kid again. Well, that feeling only last for so long because after the movie Kelly and I walked down East Ave and went to Coyote Joe's and had a couple of beers. (Those were the only drinks we could afford, they were a dollar special) About 30 minutes Patty arrived from the theater and we decided to go to Milestone's on A(lexander) Street. Oh my goodness, it was soooooooo much fun!!! There was a live band, the music was great, the lead singer tried to .....with us (lol), and we got a couple of more drinks as well (ay, ya ya). Towards the end of the night these two guys bought Kelly and I two rounds of drinks (Patty was not interested, she's got a boy). These guys try to talk to us and it's going well. Then they ask us, "So, what do you two do?" And we respond, "We go to the U of R. How about you guys?" They say, "Oh, we don't go to school. We are PROFESSIONAL PAINT BALL PLAYERS." What??? Now, that is either the coolest job on this planet or the corniest, cheesiest, lamest pick-up line I have ever heard. Kelly and I agreed it was the second one and we just cracked up. Oh my gosh. That's insane. After that remark nothing happened, and we had to get going it was about 3 am. Plus, all three of us had rehearsal at 10 am. The guys insisted for us to come back next week and meet them there. I am not so sure, but if they are going buy us a couple more rounds I wouldn't mind. Hahaha!!! Whatever, I am not selling myself for some "Long Island Ice Tea" or a "Metropolitan". I just had too much fun.

Maybe this weekend I shall go again...

Speechless

This is what we discussed in my Political Science class titled "Art & Politics" this past Thursday....









where are we heading to?

Back in the R.O.C.

Damn. I am back in upstate New York with the cold and probably getting a cold. It's hard to believe that just a week ago I was in 90 degree weather with the sun on my face and be surrounded by some truly awesome people. Now, I am back at Rochester with more work than I can handle, stress from work, classes, and the plays. Yes, you read right. I wrote PLAYS. I am in the play I auditioned for since the beginning of this year and I also tried out for the annual one act festival, and I got in. It's going to be insane. I think by the end of this year I will definately have some two or three (thousand) grey hairs. I have been irritated so much already with some things going down in the theater that I have compiled a list. Here it goes:

Irritating Things in the Theater:
1. Girls who are definately way bigger than a B cup not wearing any bras and jumping up and down
2. Receiving directions from two people at a time
3. People not understandig the fact that I have a speech impediment

i will continue later i have to go

Estoy en Tejas

Ahhh!!! This is not good, definately not good (Well, it's excellent, but that's besides the point). I am getting too accustomed to this warm weather, the pampering, the not doing any work, the taking a break from everything, hanging out with my friends, being with my family. It's going to be horrible when I get back. I am going to miss all these wonderful parts of my life. Spring Break has been soooooooooooo great and I really don't want to go back to school next Monday. I would love it if my university was here. hehehe However, I do miss my peepz from upstate New York. Ahhhhhh. I am so torn apart. You see, school would be awesome if I didn't have to go back to writing three 15-pages essays, getting back my International Relations exams, going to work, and not having any sleep. Other than that school would kick some major butt!!! LOL Oh well. (*sigh*) However, I am a bit ansy to see how the new play is going to be. I really hope I stayed as an antagonist. I love being the bad one (because I am so not that in real life ....hehehe). We'll see what happens in the next days. But as of right now I have to go to the Sprint Store and get my phone checked again. Ugh!!! They put the wrong area code its 585 not 956!!!


Tracey's joke of the week:

What does Snoop Doggy Dog use to wash his whites?


Blllllllllllleeeeeaaaaatch!!!!! (I don't know if I spelled it right, but you get the point. Oh, that Tracey cracks me up.)



P.S. Happy Be-Lated 21st Patty =)

My Favorite Pic Ever!!!

I love this pic. It was backstage in the Green Room during A Mouthful of Birds. Ted looks like he is taking a dump. Shannnon is rocking out. And Nick and I are getting our dance groove on. It's the best. So Much DYNAMITE!!!

Freedom!!!

Sintiendo el fuego en mi interior...


I am done, I am done, I am done, I am freakin' done!!! I had my last final today on Theories of International Relations (PSC 272). Can I say that was brutal?!?!?!?!

Well, I haven't blogged in about a week. It has been mad crazy. I haven't had any descent sleep for the past week. I have been going to sleep at 5:30 am and waking up at 9:30 am to go to class. I am running on energy drinks like Red Bulls and today I barely had a somewhat ok meal. But I am too busy with the play, work, school, homework, socializing (hehehe). However, today all my classes are done. Well, at least for a week but all in all i still have a break. Sooooooo, Sunday I will be going home to TX to the warmth. I come back to crappy winds and feet of snow of Rochester on March 14th. I can't wait to see everybody. I am need some desperate lovin' from mi familia and amigos!!! Don't get me wrong I love all my friends here (special shout out to Patty and Nick(DiCola not to be confused with Nick Charkow from back at home, although I am sending a shout to you too man, I haven't see or talked to you in forever!!!)), but you know I just need that love from da Rio Grande!!! Patty and Nick, you always make me smile. Thank you for your gift.

Today, after my test I went to Common Ground Cafe with Ted and met Nels there. My boyz are insane. They made me laugh so much. But Nels and I were like on this high because we are so psyched to go home. He goes to the warmth of Cali, and well, you know where I am going. We had these huge smiles plasterred on our faces. I felt kind of bad because we were talking about it in front of Ted (Ted, is from Syracuse about 2 hours from here, so he will just see snow throughout his Spring Break). I'll get a tan for you !!! =) I am so glad all this shit is behind me. Now, I am just counting down to go home. I will be chillaxing like it's my job!!!

On a very side note...I have been hearing this "Soldier" song by Destiny's Child all over the place. I freakin' hate it. There are some guys here from the Army ROTC group on campus that think its the best thing ever because they sing, "I need a soldier." Hello, they don't mean a soldier like in the army, they mean like a strong man in the sack and with a large sack. Can it get anymore explicit? Oh dumb boys with their big egos. The song is sooo repetitive and without a point. It's not one of Destiny Child's best. I prefer to stay with the classics like Can You Pay My Bills, I Say No No No, or Say My Name. All good songs that have not been produced by lead singer's boyfriend. Ugh!!!

Check me out with my crazy costume and make-up for "Major Barbara"!!!

Something Major

So tonight is the big night...
Major Barbara is opening. Finally, all the work, hours spent in the theater, and the strenuous Kabuki will pay off. I wish I had a little bit more of energy so I could really be happy about it. Don't get me wrong I am ecstatic, but my first reaction when people were saying, "Opening night is tomorrow!" my thoughts were Wow! I am almost going home to take a rest! I mean how f***ed up is that? I should be jumping around and shouting at the top of my lungs, but lately I have been so tired with eveything and everyone. I am just irritated for some reason and I can't put my finger on it. I want to rest. I need to rest before I end up having to rest on a hospital bed.
However, I do want to say that I am so proud of the entire cast and crew for Major Barbara. We all put ourselves and Todd Theater on the line with this prodution, but I think we have a kick-ass show. Everyone is rocking out with their costumes, make up, and Kabuki. I can't believe that five weeks have slipped through our hands and now we are hear about to embark on the last leg of this crazy journey. You have surprised me! (and I have even surprised myself) Break a leg!!! p.s. We must get those massages.








I am ready to fly...

Just a Thought

Change around the words that you say, to suit me fine.
Predictable behavior
I crave ya
I'm driving y'all
My own is living save
Sometimes I hate ya
But I'm whipped
Being gone ? head down to the crypt
Restricted like a conscript
You loved to bully
I placed the blame with you
Fully...
Change around the words that you say, to suit me fine.
Make them mine...
Don't panic
There is only we too left on the planet I can explain..
I know it happened again,
It's manic
I'm standing in the flame, trying to fan it
You don't know what you've got till it's gone
And by the edge of the night,
you nobody belong thru this ad joint.
And that's what you cut.
Listen to the voice of your head, It makes no sense, Take a rest
I'm addicted..
I have a demon for a wife
He delights in your pretty face and he hates my life
Takes notes on how to provoke past grief
Makes my teeth decay with the last of my self believe
Feed all day from underneath
Like a fief,
I left weak, barely able to speak
I seek nothing but constant supply
I can read every look in your eyes
I leave with a lie
Maybe our love will never die
Or, maybe it's the last time I make you cry
Make my appeal like the condemned.
Let's go away for the weekend
Your life I will steal and descend with it

Killing Some Time

It's killer Thursday today!!! I am just taking a quick rest from the mayhem of today. I have class all day till about 7 tonight. All I gotta say is that thank goodness I do not have rehearsal tonight or then I would surely die and come back to life again and die once more just for grins. (*Side note* whoever is reading this and is in the Rochester, NY area should definately come and watch Major Barbara opening next Thursday at Todd Theater on River Campus. Tickets are $6 and youcan flex them or reserve them at the theater's website....aka this is what I have been rehearsing ever since we got back from winter break).

I can't help but laugh at myself sometimes. On Monday I was devastated and bitter about Valentine's Day. Today, I don't even care. Nothing extraordinary has happened since that time, but I just think I got over my melodramatic self and realized how insane I truly am. Anyone who doesn't know me that well may think that I have my head on my shoulders and can deal with anything, but most of the time I am caught up in some cloud day-dreaming and thinking about things that in some way or shape complicate my insignificant ordinary life. However, I do like to think that at times I am in my very own soap opera. So, every time I see this particular cute guy the soundtrack begins playing "I can't get enough of you baby," and everything slows down for a couple of seconds until I am left standing there like a fool with huge smile on my face. Oh what it is to dream!!! =) hehehe

I have had this song in my head for about three days, and I don't get tired of it. I think it is because it brings so many funny memories and fun times to my mind.

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore

It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor

Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night

It's time I got back to the Good Life

It's time i got back, it's time i got back

And I don't even know how I got off the track

I wanna go back…

Yeah!

Chinese Food is the Devil

I hate "Number One Chinese Food" place. I have a tummy ache, and I am not ashamed to admit that I want my mommy.

Once again I have spent another Valentine's Day by myself. No surprise in that. I hate the bullshit that all your friends (who are in somewhat of a relationship) try to console and tell you. Things such as: guys can't see what's in front of them, that I am too good for them, that none of them deserve me, that I am pretty but they can't see that. Why give the whole bullshit speech? Just fucking say, "He is not that into you," or in my case "Men are just not that into you." Maybe after being told that by somebody I will finally give up and spend my life in a convent praying the rosary till I die of old age. Last night when I was falling asleep I was thinking about how maybe I have lost my chance to find that right guy. Maybe Renke (my ex) was the best that I was ever going to have, and I let him go. But, I just don't think that is possible. He couldn't of been "the one" for me. I know I deserve more, or maybe I have way too antic and high expectations for guys, and thus, I am over looking the low, mediocre, anal rententive creeps all around me. I mean really there are plenty of creeps in the see; I mean fish. However, there is always something I can count on..... my wonderful friends back at home. They understand. And, there is nothing better than receiving a call or a text from them in order to feel the warmth all the way from the deep South Texas.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone.
Happy Single-Lonely-You're Such A Loser- Day to Me.

Bad Name and Bad Education

So what the fuck?!?!?!?!? You think that after knowing somebody for like a year they could at least learn how to spell your fucking name!!! It's Gaby. Not GaBBy, or Gabi, or Gaebe, or any of that shit. I am sorry, it's just something that I would like to take off my chest. I am looking through my friend's web pictures and right there in big huge letters it said, "Gabby and Me." What the fuzzy??? I hate you man; I really do. First, you are annoying. Second, you are an attention whore. Third, you try to please people in whatever they say just so they can like you. Fourth, in the process of pleasing these people you are completely irritating, loud, and make stupid remarks. Fifth, you might think you are funny, but I got news for you Dr. Klondike, you're not!!!! Sixth, you miss three days of rehearsal even though you were here, on campus, having dinner for the third one. And finally, I hate how I don't hate you, not even one bit, not even at all. So, just get over yourself and I'll get over myself and let's be friends again before I decided to rip your head off again. (sigh) hehehe You know it's all play!!!

Thank goodness that that is over now. On another note, I just got back from The Little with Shannon and her boyfriend Avery (they're so cute!). We went to go see La Mala Educacion (Bad Education) starring (my future husband) Gael Garcia Bernal and directed by Pedro Almodovar who is a phenomenal director. I thought the film was great and Bernal did a fantastic job with the role. Every time I watch him in a new film I am blown away from his performance. I only wish that one day I could rock the silver screen and the stage just like he does. It is my ultimate dream!!! We'll see one day. But, if you have the chance to go see this movie, I recommend it deeply. It must be one of the top films I have seen this year. I can't compare it to Closer, The Aviator, I ♥ Huckabees, and Finding Neverland, because the story is so out there that it is filled with twist and turns that kept me on my feet throughout the entirety of the film. GO WATCH IT!!!

Set Gibberish

"I am in love with a lion tamer from Kabul....."

Well, not exactly, but I do find myself flirting with our set designer for Major Barbara. This is bad. *Disclaimer: the set designer flirts back, and he is only about 28. So, don't think that he is an old man of about 54!!!* His name is Justin and he is really cool. He came back to Rochester last night because he had to be at the opening of his other show (Off Broadway, if I may add). Those cute nerdy-kick-ass-gallant glasses are the best and he wears Rocketdogs which I give him major props for (having asswesome shoes are a perk). Note, I am not going to try anything because that would be so unprofessional on my part and it just isn't right. =) But I can look!!! hehehehe

Well, right now I have about a 2 hour break from rehearsal so I decided to post a blog (cuz I have nothing better to do, such is life). But really, I want to thank everyone who is out there reading these things and caring. Don't worry about me. After some shock therapy the twitching should go away. I am just anxiously waiting for the day that I go home. Unfortunately, I am leaving on my friend Patty's 21st B-day, but we will definately have to go out and celebrate when I get back. Being 21 isn't that much fun if you don't have friends around you to share it with. Oh well. I shall soon return. **Don't get discouraged Tipsey-Tracey you only have about 4 more months**

Hmmmm, I think it is time for a nap. Sounds like a plan Stan. 1,2,3 Sleep!!!